Starbuck tries a Church Bait

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Posted: Tue Jul 10, 2018 6:31 pm

Hiya

With church baits being all the rage (and very funny to boot), I've decided to give it a shot!

I've got a lad excited to bring the word of The International Church of St Jon to the bountiful country of Ghana- so that's a start!!

The lad, Mr Mark, is running a very rudimentary recovery scam and has been straight baited by my Lennybot character for about 2 months, and proved particularly ripe (and with many alter-egos)

However, after a couple of weeks since my last message to the lad, I sent some sad news from a fresh account:

Rev JD

Quote:

Dear Sir,

We are sorry to be the bearers of sad news, but our beloved friend Mr C. Heywood passed away last Saturday from complications following heart surgery. He had been experiencing chest pains for several weeks. The surgery was intended to alleviate the problem.

Following his wishes, we held a graveside service with his children and grandchildren at St John's Chapel. Christopher was a modest, private man and wanted it that way.

We have had the great honour of administrating end-of-life care for Christopher, and would like to let you know that he is in the prayers of all here at St John's Monastery.

With my Best Wishes and Deepest Sympathies,

Rev. Father JD

All my messages from the good reverend include the footer below

Quote:

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We wish you God's love from the parish of St John.

We'd be overjoyed for you to join our internation congregation. Please visit your local vicar for more information.

A massive thank you to all our donators!
$30,000 raised for our new Kenema parish

Mr Mark gets back to the rev. the next day wanting to resolve the issue of Chris's outstanding funds.
After a few days of back and forth mainly regarding the outstanding funds owed to the deceased, I ask the lad about his current place of worship, then he recommends that the church spread to Ghana!

Rev JD

Quote:

Dear Mark,

I hope you had a blessed Sunday full of worship and prayer.

May I ask are you a man of God? If you are which church do you attend? We are always delighted to spread the good news about the Holy Resurrection and Testament of Jesus, so hope this has a place in your heart.

If you could give me a message to pass along to Clara that'd be wonderful. You see she is on spiritual retreat since the passing, and she has no access to modern technology to further her connection with God.

I really hope this isn't bad news for you, I can try and do all in my power to resolve this and bring her your news.

God Bless

Mr Mark

Quote:

Good morning Rev John, I am so happy to responds to your message this morning, how are you and the family with the church of God? I hope and believe God is doing his marvelous work in every one's life out the.

Sir. Yes my Sunday was so good by the power of almighty God i am a very good and devoted christian and i do worship in a faith Ministry International Ghana. But if you will like to establish your church here i think it will be also good for the work of God to spread out in the world.

I will be very happy if you can tell the late Mr. Christopher's daughter that her father have some unfinished business with us and it involve monies which is supposed to be transfer to her father bank account before he called to glory. So therefor she can email me so that i will tell her what to do before she can get the funds to her own bank account because i don't want to take some once money, God did not like that it is out of the God's law...

Pass the message to her as soon as possible. Thanks, looking forward to read from you soon.
Regards
Mark

Rev John is very interested to hear what the lad has to say about this

Rev JD

Quote:

Dear Mark,

God bless you, your family and your holy congregation.

I will see to sending your message over to our holy retreat. It may take a few days for me to get her reply back to you as she is with our holy sisters a few miles from here. Please excuse the inconvenience of all this, but as you can imagine she is still celebrating the passing of her father into the arms of God above us.

I will be sure to get her reply to you as soon as I can, my friend.

I have just had a look, and am I right in thinking that Ghana is a West African country? We have many people in our international congregation who came from the holy continent of Africa. All people I have had the pleasure to have met are pious and devout.

We are interested in establishing new parishes in West Africa, and have recently opened God's doors to the people of Kemena in Sierra Leone with much success (with the love and blessing of God).

It'd be a blessing if you know anyone in your local area who would be willing to help us with the logistics of establishing a new parish.

God Bless

Mr Mark

Quote:

Thanks so much Rev. John,

May the good lord bless you and be with you and your family. As you said it will take a few days before you will get reply for her in the Holy retreat, i do not have any problem in that and more over i know she still mourning her late father as well.

Yes Sir you are right that Ghana is part of western part of Africa and is a gold and diamonds country, with full of grace of Peace and love as well.Ghana is one of the country in the world that have gold and cocoa with a lots of mineral resources.

Alright, If you are really interested in establish a new parishes here in our lovely country Ghana, that will be a wonderful this that will happen to us here because we love God words to spread all over the world.
I will look for a very good and reliable person who can try in helping to do the establishment here in Ghana, they will look into all that would involve and make a very good and solid arrangements for the establishment of the new Parish here, i means all what it will take to achieve it here I will do all i can in my capacity to introduce the person to you.

Can you please give me your email.... Your sell phone.... if possible your Address so that they can contact you when i am done with the person. Thanks, looking forward to read from you soon.
Regards
Mark

Rev JD

Quote:

Dear Mark,

I'm arranging to have my secretary send your printed correspondence to Mrs Busby. We should get word to her by the end of the week at the latest. I send my evening prayers to her and her father, may he rest peacefully in God's arms.

This is the message I have sent to be printed by my secretary:

"rubbish about some money..."

I'm awfully serious about investigating establishing a new parish in the blessed country of Ghana. We have received many donations since establishing our latest holy parish in the humble country of Sierra Leone, and our pious council are looking for the next location in Africa to bring God's holy and perfect word.

We would appreciate if you could look for someone who is convicted of faith and pious of nature.
Our church is looking to purchase land and construct a Holy House of God. I hope to see our message spread to the bountiful and fertile land of Ghana.

The man would also have to be willing to convert to The International Church of St John in order for the council to discuss business.

God Bless

Mr Mark

Quote:

Thanks so much Rev. John,

I am so happy for your concern about Mr. Christopher's daughter and i am so glad as you are sending my message to her, i wouldn't mind if she responds by the weekend but all i will say is that for her to be strong in the lord because God gives and takes. don't hesitate to give her my email also so that she can as well communicate with me.

Rev. John, it is a very nice decision from you that you are interested to investigating establishing of the new perish here in Ghana as you have done for some of area located in Africa called Sierra Leone.

I will do all i can do to look for the reliable person who can work very hard to make sure every thing for the establishing of the new perish of the work of God here in Ghana is accomplished and i will make sure you have the person's contact over this weekend as well, your message will be spread to the bountiful and fertile land of Ghana.

The person and i with all of our family will converted to the International Church of St John, not only to do business alone but to spread the good new of God almighty (Amen). Thanks so much Sir, looking forward to read from you soon.
Best Regards
Mark

Fingers crossed for no twigging!

Baiting Guru Joined: 25 Jul 2017 Posts: 2107

Looks promising!

Posted: Sat Jul 14, 2018 1:56 pm

I'm loving this lad at the moment- he's so courteous! Not abrupt and to the point like most.

There's been a couple more messages over the week, and it's still sounding promising.

The Reverend is very happy to hear the news that Mark (and his whole community from what he promises Laughing

) will be converting

Rev JD:

Quote:

Dear Mark,

How are you this blessed morning? I hope God is smiling on you and your family.

God lead me to think about the wondrous passage 1 Timothy 3:4
He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him, and he must do so in a manner worthy of full respect.

I'm so blessed that my family spreads across the globe, and my brothers and sisters count in the hundreds. With the eternal Father's guidance we can never be lead astray or to the talons of temptation.

We have printed the message, along with your email address, to pass along to Mrs Clara. My secretary is scheduled to visit our holy Spiritual Retreat later on today, so she will be sure to pass your righteous words along.

Hopefully, when she has returned to her home, joyous and celebrating that her father has left this mortal realm to the land of paradise and redemption, God will give her the holy strength to reply to you. I do hope that you extend the respect and patience you have shown with me.

We're ecstatic to hear of your willingness to bring your community to the fold of our magnanimous church. We wish that many holy missionaries filled with the fervour of the Almighty may spring, like water, from the holy land of Ghana.

God Bless,
Rev. Father Jon Douglas

Mark:

Quote:

Good afternoon Rev. Jon, how are you doing this days?

I hope you are doing well with the work of God. I was so busy this days and I trying my best to look for the person who can handle the established the new parish here and I have discussed with a reliable person but I will meet him tomorrow for his contact, so that I can give it to you so that you can email him andlet him know every things about the establishment of the new parish here in Ghana.

Sir. I hope late Mr. Christopher's daughter have received my message? I am waiting to read from her soon. Thanks, looking forward read from you.
Best Regards
Mark

Rev JD:

Quote:

Dear Mark,

How blessed it is that you thought to send me an email, and very lucky because I have finished a hard morning's work visiting the local families of the parish, and have now only thought to stop for a lunch break at my computer desk.

May we all consider what the Holy Bible teaches in the book of Ecclesiastes, 9:7
Go, eat your food with gladness, and drink your wine with a joyful heart, for God has already approved what you do.

I'm very happy to hear the Lord's fervor finds residence in your kind heart. Those who toil with honesty and piety must surely receive riches in this life and their life to come in Heaven.

Please, establish if you find this contact is indeed trustworthy, with a clean soul and pious nature. We would require land purchase, and construction of a Holy House of God.

Regarding the business you have with the meek and kindly Mrs Clara, my secretary was able to deliver the printed message along with your email address. The word I received is that she is doing well and is finding happiness in the knowledge that our Father above is caring for the dearly departed. She is said to being prepared to leave our Holy Retreat after Sunday worship, but until then has no access to modern technology in order to aid contemplation and prayer.

I hope your business can be resolved soon and with good grace.

Mark:

Quote:

Thanks so much for you nice message to me and the nice scripture you gave Sir. I wish you happy weekend, i want you to be expecting my email but next week Monday or Tuesday for the man email so that you will write your proposal to him about the Establishment of the new parish of our Church here in Ghana.

I will be very happy to read from My Sister in the lord Mrs Clara for coming home from the Holy retreat after Sunday worship, I pray that may the good lord be with her and bless her family. Hope she have got married? I will always pray for her and i will be looking forward to read from her as soon as possible.
Thanks you so much and i wish you happy weekend Rev. John, looking forward to read from you soon.
Best Regards
Mark

I'm sure the good reverend will be slightly inquisitive about why the meeting has been delayed... does the lad want church money or not?! Rolling Eyes

Posted: Tue Jul 17, 2018 11:59 am

Coming along slowly but surely.

Mr Chris's bereft daughter has got in contact with the lad regarding her father's funds- but it seems as though Mark is hitting on her!
He's been repeatedly asking both Father Jon and Clara about her marital status... he'll soon know that Clara only considers people baptised with her church as potential spouses Laughing

Mark:

Quote:

Good morning Rev. Jon, how are you doing and how was your weekend going with the family and the church of God? I hope all is well.I was so busy yesterday but i saw Mrs. Clara's message over the weekend and i responds to the message.I just read from Mrs. Clara now and she said she as moved to USA and she asked me your email contact and i have gave it to her because she wanted to thank you for all you have done for her during the passing away of her beloved father.

Sir. I have meet up with the man that would handle the new parish of the church and he as gave me his email contact so that you can email him and tell him all your proposer and make him know all you wanted him to do as well. here is his email............... [email protected], he is read to responds to you any time. Thanks, i will be looking forward to read from you as soon as possible.
Best Regard
Mark

Father JD

Quote:

Dear Mark,

My weekend was joyous and full of praise. May we all be thankful of the great blessing the Almighty God bestowed upon. The whole of my Sunday was devoted to silent prayer and reflection upon God's grace.

I hope your weekend was joyous and your Sunday spent in the admiration of God above all.

I'm so happy to hear that Mrs Clara has contacted you to settle your holy business. I'm aware she is now an American woman and, with the love of God, travelled far to attend the funeral of her dearest father. It was so nice to see a sister in the Lord.

May I ask you- is your contact willing to join our church? I must ask this first, because without this I'm afraid the Abbott and the Council would refuse to collaborate.
Also, I'd like to welcome you and your family into the bosom our church as you made clear this was your intention. Maybe you can resign in your current position and, with God's blessing, sit as the reverend of our new Ghanaian parish (with the love and power of God). Our financial compensation package would ensure that you and your family live in comfort for the remainder of your service to God. Is this something that would interest you at all?

And with Clara, after a bit of lad mail

Mark:

Quote:

Thanks so much for your responds, Yes it is okay by me. I will be expecting your message as soon as you arrive home and i wish you safe journey and God will be with you as well. Can i ask you a question? Are you a single? Do you have kids? Thanks looking forward to read from you soon.

Clara:

Quote:

heya

great is just im busy right now packing n stuff!

why are you asking if i have a husband?? do u have a wife??? Wink

Clara xx

Hopefully the start of something beautiful Embarassed

Baiting Guru Joined: 25 Jul 2017 Posts: 2107

Good old Clara! Maybe she is a temptation Mark must overcome?

Posted: Wed Jul 18, 2018 11:58 am

^ Maybe so, but Clara is really quite a pious lass!
They've hit it off a bit more since learning they have both lost their spouses

Mark:

Quote:

I am so sorry to asked you that but i just wanted to know, I have wife but she as passed away some years back. once again i am sorry okay. I wish to Safe Journey to your home and please try and send all i asked from you to the form. Thanks, looking forward to read from you soon.

Clara:

Quote:

my heart goes to you Mark. I am a widow too and knw how it feels. now i have lost even my father.

i wish the best for you my friend and now that your wife will find a place in my paryers

xx

Mark:

Quote:

Amen thanks so much my dear, it's only God that will take good care of widows and widowers, I which to know you more better. I know you are very good Christian and I also a very good Christian too. So, would you like to remarry if it's possible for you? Thanks, looking forward to read from you soon.

I think Clara's charms are working on Mark Wink

Clara:

Quote:

Amen.

My reverend father does preach that in the psalms God supports the widows and the fatherless... i guess that now i am both :/

i have good feelings from my faith. my husband was a big donor to the international church of st jon so i am now well looked after. are you a member of our church?

Clara xxx

Mark:

Quote:

Alright, you are right God support fatherless and widowers and widows. I am not a member yet but I will member soon. How are well have you prepare for you traveling tomorrow? I hope when you arrived safety, you will get in touch with me. Thanks so much for your time, looking forward to read from you soon.

Clara:

Quote:

thats wonderful news to hear!! <3 i hope we can break bread at some time in the future
is father douglas sorting out your membership? dont worry the baptism is really good and fills u with the holy spirit and oneness with the world.
cus the church is a small community it is hard to find bachelors for me so is always good to hear of new single holy men joining Very Happy

xxx

i am just finishing packing right now and im going for a meal with my siblings and their families this evening at a thai restaurant. do you like thai food?

Clara xxxx

Mark:

Quote:

I wish I will like the food if only I have some who prepare it for me. I will be very happy to know you and be your close friend in the church so that we can use the would of God to feed ourselves. I which am there now to eat with you all, but I am going to eat with you guys in the spirit of Almighty God. Thanks, looking forward to read from you soon.

Clara:

Quote:

i hope to dine with you and prepare food for you in the future Smile

x

have a glorious evening in the lord Mark

Clara x

Baiting Guru Joined: 25 Jul 2017 Posts: 2107

Clara had better beware.....
"Even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light"

Posted: Wed Aug 01, 2018 12:30 pm

Since last posting, I've been taking this slowly. I've had scant access to the internet, so one message every couple of days had to do.

Clara's returned home to America (and since gone AWOL- maybe the loss of her father took its toll)- but will get back in touch with Mark soon

Meanwhile, Reverend John has started the process of admitting the lad to the Church. Obviously a few forms have to be filled out- but Mark was happy to oblige (nothing too demanding yet)

(NB- I'm not trying to cash bait for donations to the Church- I added it to reinforce the idea that the church has coffers full of donations from rich beneficiaries)

Simultaneously, Mark introduced his 'business associate' who knew of a good plot of land to purchase for $30,000. Obviously we can only deal with members of our church, so he had to fill out the forms too.. (strange that all his messages are sent within 15 mins of the Mark persona Rolling Eyes

)

Anyway, I'm working towards a baptism- so hopefully Mark obliges (it's the last step to secure the $100,000 fund assigned for establishing a new parish)

Mark:

Quote:

I am ready for all what you want me to do concerning the Baptist but i hope you direct me with the power of the lord.

He's a great little lamb Very Happy

Posted: Wed Aug 01, 2018 3:57 pm

These are quite fun.
all good stuff > Smile

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