The Hon-Doc Gets The Boot

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Master of Master Baiters Joined: 13 Jan 2014 Posts: 698

My beautiful, seductive, passionate prospective bride and heiress to countless millions of dollars hired a lawyer, who is no less a person than:

Quote:

HON DR D**U-K***H ESQ, CHAMBERS AND LEGAL CONSULTANT

who has as his letterhead banner:

Quote:

WELCOME TO UN REPRESENTATIVE FOR HUMAN RIGHTS IN SENEGAL-Dakar.

None but the best for my darling V***! ...... So she asked me to contact him, which, of course, I did:

Quote:

I am in receipt of your email 23/10/14 regarding Miss V*** W*****. I notice that your declared speciality is in human rights and that you are The United Nations representative in Senegal. That is very impressive, but because such a huge sum of money is involved here I will need certain assurances that you are a bona fide, fully qualified and well-established lawyer in your chosen field. I'm sure you understand that in today's World, such claims are easy to make and it is important to be verified by documentation, etc.

Therefore, I would be very much obliged to you, before we proceed any further, if you would send me copies of certificates and/or degrees that will back up your claims. It would be particularly helpful if you could send a copy of your United Nations Commission for your current appointment.

Also, I would like you to arrange an early cash payment to my future wife, V*** W***** in order that she might subsist until we have completed our business, at which time you may include such payment in your final invoice. Thank you for your understanding in this matter."

To which he replied:

Quote:

This is acknowledgment to inform you i received your mail,Here is the copy of my suppreme license certificate and a copy of my passport,I am waiting for your ID card and two passport photographs to proceed for the notarization as required by law for the immediate administering oaths and affirmations.Meanwhile the fees sum of Five hundred and eight two Dollar ($582 Dollar).can be send by Via Western Union directly to the secertray throught this information below....

Images attached of some kind of 'certificate' that wouldn't open (No! Honestly! It just would not open to a readable size) and a very dodgy PS job on a Guinean passport that purported to have been issued in Senegal to a Senegalese. So:

"

Quote:

The documents you sent are no good. The first one will not open up and a passport simply states somebody exists. I expect better from a person who holds a position of authority in the United Nations. Please respond to my request and send copies that are readable and that will satisfy me of your credentials. As I stated before, a copy of your United Nations Commission, together with copies of your law degrees will be acceptable. Until I am satisfied with this, you must not consider yourself engaged to do our business.

"

Before eyelids could be batted, along came two images each of the original ones, but this time, the dodgy certificate opens. So:

"

Quote:

Dear Hon sir,

I need more than what you have sent. Your passport tells me nothing about your qualifications to act in this case. Please do better or I shall be obliged to engage somebody else. Please act quickly on this and this time do it right. Your obfuscation is causing a delay we cannot afford."

Oh dear - short fuse lit:

Quote:

This is acknowledgment to inform you i received your mail,If those document my passport and supreme license certificate is not ok by you then look for another lawyer ok i am very busy i dont have time for mush mail repecting one word i am professional lawyer for the past 30 years i wish you best of luck i will never force any clients i am consultant by your partner v*** w*****,therefore if you dont need my service have a great day
awaiting for your reply

Well, there's only one answer to that:

"

Quote:

You may well be a professional lawyer for the past thirty years, but I do not know you. You are behaving very unprofessionally here by being reluctant to satisfy a prospective client that you are who you say you are and that you are properly qualified to handle sensitive matters on behalf of clients. This makes me suspicious of you and makes me think you are a crook posing as a lawyer. If that is not true then I'm sorry, but if it is true, then I most certainly do NOT wish you best of luck and I certainly wish you have the most rotten day imaginable.

In any case, YOU'RE FIRED.

"

At which point I sent the whole lot to my 'lady-love', who wasn't very happy:

"

Quote:

Hello
My Darling

Good morning how are you today hope you are doing great i have not had from you since few days i received all the mail from lawyer honey what esle did you want lawyer have send us his license and his passport you are still asking him question that i can understand remember i am the one who called for his assistance i am here with him in senegal and we have never paid him even a dollar what prove do you want or you come here in senegal yourself that we be the best

honey please if really you want to assist me kindly let me know and continue with this lawyer if you dont want to assist me please let me know so i can find someone ok remember what you did before about malick byou say all kind of things that bi dont even think now again started from lawyer what is the problem even i ask you for just only 200 dollar for my feeding until now you did not send the money and you dont say anything about the money is that how they love in your country you dont care about my living all you do nis to be sending hurt mail to the people i direct you just imagine look at the mail you send to lawyer i am so annoyed with this darling since i am be asking for your information remember you have never send it until now then why but you want some one to be sending all the kind of information you wanted and you dont want to relieaze yours that is not life ok i have to tell you the truth. honey i am begging you with the name of God come out clear and let me know your mind if you are willing to help me or not so i will no what to do i am really annoyed
waiting to hear from you now
vera your love"

Time to give 'her' a bit of a spanking:

"

Quote:

Dear Vera, I'm sorry you feel the way you do about this, but if you really love me as you say you do and you really want to be my wife then you must trust me and respect me and my judgement.This man says he is the United Nations Human Rights Representative in Senegal, but he sent me the wrong documents to satisfy me that he is and has now refused. Also he did NOTHING to help you get money to live on. That should have been very simple for him if he is who he says he is. I told you before that you asked me for money at the very time it was not possible to send any, because of heavy medical bills that had to be paid. You must understand that money does not grow on trees and you must be patient. I must say that your undying love for me now seems to be dying and if you are really serious about this, then to be my wife, you must follow my lead on important matters like this. Now, do I trouble myself further with this and look for a proper lawyer, or do you find some idiot who will lose all your money for you? It's up to you.

"

An immediate reply (Actually entitled "Immediate"):

"

Quote:

Hello
My Darling
Good morning how are you today hope you are doing great iread your mail honey Hon Duru Komah Esq,have never told you is United Nations Human Rights Representative in Senegal, he always send all a copy of the mail he send to you he we send it to me too read his email very well is a lawyer here in Senegal not United Nations Human Rights Representative in Senegal, ok you are making a mistake here and he have send us the proved of his lawyer supreme license certificate with his Senegal internation passport what did you want again and also how can you think a lawyer that i dont know i just consult him for assistance and also i am not a Senegalise i called him for assistance so how did you think he we be helping my for money and feeding you know that can possible or did you want him to use his money to do the document changed of beneficiary by your name and transfer the fund to you can you reason honey you know that can possible if is easy why can you send the money

darling you could have told him you dont have money and beg him to see if he can assist us is better than sending him all this kind of mail i just call lawyer on phone now he told me is not interested we should look for another lawyer honey why are you doing this to me you are not here in Senegal ok i am the one who is living here so you suppose to follow my word or if you dont trust me a your wife then come over to Senegal bnoth of us we go bank together for the transfer if you trust me as you wife the way i trusted you that make me have confidence on you to transfer my fund to your account then follow my word and get back to lawyer and told him you are sorry ok all the lawyer i meet here in the court all need money from me before they we help and i dont have money to pay this is only the lawyer who is helping me without giving him one dollar please if really you want to help me as you promise honey get back to the lawyer now if you dont have the complete 582 dollar tell him how mush you have and beg him to please and help us we will paid him as soon as the fund is been transfer to your account this is only the solution
waiting to hear from you now
vera your love"

Time to give 'her' a more severe spanking:

Quote:

Now, listen to me Vera, because I am sick of this constant moaning from you. The DIS-honourable crook posing as an Honourable Doctor has this in his emails:

WELCOME TO UN REPRESENTATIVE FOR HUMAN RIGHTS IN SENEGAL-Dakar.

That is clear and unmistakeable and all he had to do was to satisfy me that this is true. He has not. In fact he has refused. That makes him a crook. Stop being so stupid about all this. I haven't forgotten your stupidity over the photographs you sent to that pervert bank manager, Malik and now you are defending a crook. Respect me and my judgement as your loving husband and stop making difficulties and delays. I'm really getting sick of it. I'll not apologise to an obvious crook who would not even make sure you are fed. Now let us both get on with getting your money and getting you over here so that we can begin our new lives together. That is what is more important than all of this.

Quote:

Good morning how are you today hope you are doing great i read your mail honey yes that we be the best ok let me come over to join you first before we now plan on how to get the fund from the bank after our marriage and i want it to be quick sweetheart please let me know when it we be and also i have to get my passport and idenficiation card as i told you before after that i will get visa to come over

darling my situation is too bad of me i want you understand that are times i am crazy here running mad because of my bad situation i am in pains honey please kindly make everything possible for me to come over and join you soon before i will die here i am waiting to hear good news from when you are going to send me the money to start getting ready to come over ok i love you kiss
waiting to hear from you now
vera your love"

That's encouraging. I'll have to spank her more often!

Quote:

My darling Vera that is such a sweet idea and I love you for it, but it will not be simple, because firstly, we really need to save some money first so we can cover expenses and secondly you will have to apply for passport and identification card and that will also take time and money and then I will have to apply for you to enter my county and for us to marry and that will taking time and money too and then I will have to come over to you to fetch you into my country with good papers so then the airflight tickets will cost more time but do not worry i will think about this and maybe just maybe we can do it but you must not get impatient again and it will take a long time we must save up the money first then plan it all very carefully. I have another idea which might help and I will think a lot about all of it and we can work this out maybe by early next year let us set a date for it to be done I think maybe your immigration and citizenship papers will take at least six months to be cleared but by then your passport should be ready and I think it will be a lot quicker and easier and cheaper to get the money when we are husband and wife so please let me work on this lovely idea of yours for a few days then I will tell you what I planned, You are such a clever little wife and I send you kisses and hugs.

So it looks like this odious little worm is well and truly hooked. Now to make it last at least until next July - the anniversary of the day fate so kindly brought us together Twisted Evil

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