Newbie, Fell into a scammers net, and now turning tides

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Hello I'm New here! Joined: 29 Sep 2014 Posts: 3

I met a "lad" on a widows/widowers support site. I immediately knew something was off, but wasn't quite sure, so I started talking to him via email. (Not my normal email, but a gmail account) After emailing back and forth for a day I *knew* this wasn't a real widower but a con artist. I was going to drop it, but I wanted proof (for myself) that I wasn't just being overly cautious. After 3 days he dropped his first call for money, asking for money for an African kid in an orphanage that has kidney cancer and needs a transplant, but I declined. The next day he asked for my home address, which I refused to give, which caused him to question my ethics, and I explained I was simply being cautious as a new widow. (Its true!) He argued a bit, stating all he wanted to do was send me some flowers but then he asked for my ring size. I politely declined. At this point I started doing a little research. His email was a yahoo email, so I looked up from the headers where his location was actually at. Ghana. (He states he is in NYC). At this point in the conversations (about day 5) he is expressing his deep love for me, and wants to marry me. In his pigeon English.

And then I found your website. And I have been reading for several days. All the while being "woo'ed" by this "lad". Yesterday he dropped another call for cash, this time that same African Orphanage was having an anniversary, would I like to donate some small items to their celebration? Oh BTW its too late to send the pencils and pens to the kids, could you WU 500$ and they can pick the stuff up themselves? I declined, but made an offer that I would check with my church's outreach program to see if they would like to run a fundraiser for this Orphanage. (I'm not going to do it, it was just a story). He was thrilled, until I asked for the address of the place, and a little information to give to the Outreach director, then somehow he disappeared for a couple hours. He came back with a name and address in Cleveland Oh. In looking up the address, it was a house, not a business. And I'm suspecting that the name is an associate of his. How can I find out if this place is legit?

In all of this, he knows my first name, and the state I live in. Nothing else. He sent me pictures, but I never sent any to him.

Normally I would just drop this altogether, but I don't want some other widow to be scammed like he tried to scam me.

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Mar 2012 Posts: 5373

Hello and welcome!
Sorry you've attracted the attention of a scammer.
Drop him and put all his info up at scamwarners.com so other potential victims can find him on a google search.

Posted: Mon Sep 29, 2014 2:01 am

Yes itsybitsy, please go over to ScamWarners and provide the information there. It will help other potential victims see what is happening and oh so wrong. I'm glad you trusted your instincts on this. Please be very careful on dating sites and my suggestion is to watch the ones specifically for widows. The scammers will see you as easy and vulnerable prey.

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 29 Sep 2014 Posts: 3

It wasn't a dating site, btw, it was a support group. But regardless, I'll do what you say.

Posted: Mon Sep 29, 2014 9:41 am

Hi Itsybitsy and welcome to the forum!
Sorry you ran into such a scum-support and dating sites frequently have these predators wandering around. Please drop him-it's simply not safe when he has some of your personal info. I'm glad you had the good sense to use a different email and refuse to give an address.

I'm a moderator on this forum and I'd ask to you to PM the info on the individual in Cleveland. there's a chance that it's another victim acting as a money mule. I can hand the info off to some people who may be able to warn them.

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 29 Sep 2014 Posts: 3

It seems this guy won't give up the search for victims of his scam. He's still emailing me, even though I haven't emailed back. But at the support group there is a new member, different nickname, but same writing style, and almost word by word introduction. I have not spoken to him yet, but would like to find out if it's the same guy, or at least if he is a scammer so I can alert the moderators of the group. Should I change my email account for him even though there is no personal information attached to this account or just go with what I have?

Posted: Tue Sep 30, 2014 2:43 pm

Do not ever contact anyone in the group from your current account. We advise that you set up a new free email account with none of your real life details.

However, generally it's not a good idea to bait or interact with a scammer who you were involved with previously. Scammers use scripts that they pass around, so it is possible that it may be a different scammer. Why don't you just send the mod of the group the two intros?

Posted: Tue Sep 30, 2014 2:51 pm

If the Mods/Admins of the site are on the ball, they should be able to check for suspicious sign-ups by looking at IP addresses, email addresses used etc.

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