my new girlfriend hates jokers

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Not quite a Newb Joined: 22 May 2014 Posts: 70

My girlfriend Yana couldn't stand me anymore, I guess, and has been ignoring my emails, so I picked up a new love. Enter Miss Amirah. She's not much for the romance - turned into a refugee rather quickly.

Quote:

Hello Dearest Mr John,

How are you over there ,i believe you are doing well and that the
atmosphere over there is very nice today? Mine is a little bit warm
over here in Abidjan Cote Divoire. My name is Miss. Amirah Ahmed. I
am a young girl of 23years old but age doesn't matter in a real
relationship,I am from Banglore India though my mother is from cuba .
I am 5.4ft tall, dark in complexion and single,(never married ) and
presently i am in cote Divoire for an important project.

My late father Mr. Wattam A Ahmed was a businessman and the managing
director of Habima coffee & tea industries in Abidjan (the capital of
cote Divoire) before he was assassinated by unknown gun men on his way to office one early morning in cold blood.

I will like to know more of your likes and dislikes. I will tell you
more about myself in my next mail. Attached here is my picture. I will
send you more in my next mail and i well like to see your
pictures.Please do write me through this is my private Email id
.

Hoping to hear from you soonest
Miss. Amirah Ahmed

I love how they've always had a parent gunned down in cold blood. Sure! Happens all the time!

MY RESPONSE:
Hi Miss Amirah! I like your hat!

The weather is nice here - very hot, which is how I like it. You are very young. I'm sorry that your father was gunned down in such a way. How awful for you! Here are some of my likes: cats, popcorn, silly movies. I dislike people who don't listen and people who aren't good friends.

And you?

Cheers!
John

Quote:

Hello Dearest Mr John,

Firstly I thank you for your response to my email. How are you today
hope fine. Dear in line with the message I sent to you, Do not be
surprise or get offended for receiving this message from me please,
Its just that I have been obliged to lay a mere trust on you since you
are a friend and a brother to me and due to my situation here as a
refugee ...EDITED HERE TO TAKE OUT ALL THE FORM STUFF... BASICALLY, MY FATHER LEFT ME A BUNCH OF CASH BUT I NEED YOUR HELP TO GET IT. I LOVE YOU ALREADY AND PLEASE SEND MONEY.

Awaiting to hear from you soonest! God bless you.

Yours in lovely one
Miss. Amirah Ahmed

So I slap him a bit for not telling me any of his likes and dislikes and jumping to the money too quickly.

MY RESPONSE:
I am disappointed that you did not tell me much about yourself, only about this money. I will certainly help you with the money, but how much are you willing to pay for my help?

Also, can you please tell me more about your likes and dislikes, as you told me you would?

thanks,
John

Quote:

Dearest Mr John

Thanks for your massage i hope you are fine.you requested that i tell you about my likes and dislikes,well i like people who are sincere and trustworthy and i hate jokers and liers,i like reading novels and i like going out with friend just to say but a few.

Regarding what you will gain in the transaction, i have to offer you 15% of the total money once the transfer is made into your account and you will handle th investment untill i complete my edcation.Now if you agree with the terms and are ready to help me then i can only offer 15% if that is okey by you then we can go ahead with the transfer.Again i will like to see your picks also.

Once we agree,i will go to the ban and introduce you as my partner then i will forward to you the contacts of the bank with a letter to send to the bank as my business partner who will receive the money on my behalf.

Waiting to read from you soon

Regards
Amirah

My question is this - do I need to tread lightly because of the joker reference? Does this just refer to baiters, or is he using it broadly? I can't tell if he suspects I'm toying with him, in which case I'll play it straight for sure, or if that's a common response.

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Mar 2012 Posts: 5373

Standard format-no worries.

Posted: Thu Jul 31, 2014 8:25 pm

I'm always tempted to tell a joke at that point, but it would be lost on the lads. Betting you'll have some new characters enter the picture soon.

Keep up the great work! Smile

Posted: Thu Jul 31, 2014 11:37 pm

This is script, you're fine. He doesn't know what a real joker is waiting in the wings!

Posted: Fri Aug 01, 2014 12:15 am

Agreeing with all because my therapist said I had to. Or not...Funning as Lads seem to Stress this quite a bit early on.

Kitty La Gore Wrote:

Quote:

I'm always tempted to tell a joke at that point, but it would be lost on the lads.

Yeah but it is Piles O Fun in my Books. For some reason when a Lover Lad tells me that I tend to hit them with this Classic Knee Slapper:

Celine Dion walks into a Bar and the Bartender says "Hey Why the Long Face?"

Told you it was a Knee Slapper...and a Classic. I'm here all week.

Posted: Fri Aug 01, 2014 11:41 am

Two elephants walked over a cliff... BOOM BOOM!

Not quite a Newb Joined: 22 May 2014 Posts: 70

Ha... awesome! I am tempted to tell him a joke, then, even though I know he's not going to get it.

Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was a salted.

Glad to know it's part of script. I've asked him to calculate 15% of the fund, because I'm bad at maths.

Posted: Fri Aug 01, 2014 2:12 pm

A tachyon walks out of a bar.

The barman says, "We don't serve faster than light particles in here."

A tachyon walks into a bar.

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