Halbert

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Posted: Tue Jul 01, 2014 5:26 am

It's kind of weird, so many lads on Tagged these days approach my character in German. They use Google translate or something similar, and it's really a pain to read.
But....some of them reply to just anything I write to them, no matter how stupid it may be, and that's fun sometimes.
Here's Halbert R. from New York City:
His Tagged-Profile: http://www.tagged.com/profile.html?uid=6005470671

Quote:

halbert
At Louisa
June 22 at 10:51 PM

Louis hello how are you? I will love to tell you about me.I am a loving person, I am looking for a very serious relationship tell things, I am loyal and honest, compassionate and caring, am the kind of person that my wife like a queen will deal with, i love to bloom, without it to present that with reason to do it. I give a great message.i like to snuggle and the woman who i am enjoy their company.I know myself to show in a kitchen in the world! so if you cook a lot cause I also love to do! I'm also a big, confident man .. i like swimming, dogs, heaven, good food, and cinema are some of my favorite things .. The elusive chemistry that most of us look for, at least partially depend on whether you the other person attractive you.i really love what I see in your profile and I will like based closer to you. Hope to read from you soon ..
Halbert

Louisa
To halbert
June 22 at 11:27 PM

Good evening Halbert,

many many thanks for your letter, I will answer you tomorrow!
It is very late here, in NY it's six hours earlier!
It is now almost midnight, and I'm deadly tired!

See you tomorrow!
Louisa

Quote:

halbert
To Louisa
June 22 at 11:34 PM

okay, Louisa pleased to read from you ... you live in the U.S.? Then have a wonderful night's sleep

Louisa
To halbert
June 23 at 8:48 AM

Hello Halbert,

no, because the US is where you live, right? I'm in Germany, in Berlin.
I am a certified podiatrist and run a successful small salon, sometimes even prominent politicians get in here, but I'm not allowed to talk about it, of course, that's all highly confidential.
What are you doing in New York?
And I have seen a little girl in your pictures, is that your daughter?
She looks so sweet ..... what is her name?

Greetings
Louisa

Quote:

halbert
To Louisa
June 24 at 10:50 PM

so, how are you today louisa? hope you are cool? she is my little angel and I love her so much. I lost her mother when she deliver in the world, but thank God I still have something I have to see ... yes I live in New York, but what I want is more than distance and I'm I do not have the distance in a relationship.i love is to know more about you.my mom is also from Germany, while my father is from usa.am the only surviving son. 'm 52 years old and my daughter is 6 years old sharon although it is a mistake, at the age on the website was ... I'll be happy with you via Instant Messenger chat or by e-mail, you can me the most time halbertxxxxxx005 @ I live.com.cuz not have much time here, but I know my mail every hour. hope to read from you soon .. Halbert

Louisa
To halbert
June 25 at 8:22 AM

Hello Halbert,

I am doing very well, thank you for asking!
And even better now, because you have written me such a nice letter again!
I'm 50 years old and widowed. My husband was not really a nice person, during the last years of our marriage he has even become violent and hit and kicked me. Fortunately, he died a few years ago, and with the money from the life insurance policy I could open my pedicure studio.
I get by just fine, my studio is very successful.
I have no children, and my parents are dead, I am very lonely, and that should change soon! Your mother came from Germany? That's a coincidence, from where exactly?

Hope to see you soon, dear Halbert!
I wish you a wonderful day

yours, Louisa

Quote:

halbert
To Louisa
June 25 at 6:49 PM

Hello dear, how are you? I'm very glad to hear from you and I think we have something common.my mother is from Germany, as I told you in my first massage.I will like to know what you actually want in the man of your dreams. Guess am happy to meet Louisa. Have a wonderful day before.
Halbert

halbert
To Louisa
June 26 at 6:52 AM

The days pass with thoughts of you in my head, and I was wondering what happened? My heart told me to follow it where it leads me, because it is always true for me. When I first saw it, I thought, 'Damn! What an angel! "Then I said unto you, and wanted to know why you're single and have a very close and good friend. But every time I would see or think of it, my whole body was shaking. Come to think of it, your Ex was lucky, he should have cherished, honored, admired and was grateful for you., he is a fool to lose you.
I know you're cute, but every time I see you, you would tend to look even sweeter than ever. When I think of you and you see I tell myself that God is really good, the greatest architect ever to design and create such wonderful eyes as bright as the stars in the sky, on a dark and lonely night. A smile of delicacies brightens my world.have a wonderful night's sleep.
Halbert

Posted: Tue Jul 01, 2014 6:14 am

One greasy serenade is literally chasing the other, the usual copy&paste blah blah blah.....

Louisa
To halbert
June 26 at 10:07 AM

Good morning, my dear Halbert!

Oh, how I was delighted by your letter! You write so beautifully poetic, I also started to tremble when I read that!
What is happening with me?
I'm sure you're a wonderful lover, right?
A man who knows what makes women truly happy?
I need to confess something: I have some quite unusual tastes, I hope this is not a problem for you?
If you want, I'll tell you more about it!
I will write to you tonight again, I have my studio now open!
This morning I need to treat Mrs Ursula von der Leyen, our Federal Minister of Defense, I have to remove a few corns, she can hardly walk with pain. I really should not be telling you this, but you will keep it to yourself, won't you?

All the best
your Louisa

Quote:

halbert reagan
At Louisa
27.06. at 12:21 AM

halbert
To Louisa
27.06. at 12:23 AM

hello, dear Louisa,
how are yu doing' I'm very happy to hear from you, babe? how are you today? I can not imagine how happy I am to read from you, baby me.
You have a great sense of humor. <---you bet! I would like to get close and know more about you. What do you value most want in a man of your dreams?
how was today at work dear? hope it was cool, my dear

The days pass with thoughts of you in my head, and I was wondering what happened? My heart told me to follow it where it leads me, because it is always true for me. When I first saw it, I thought, 'Damn! What an angel! "Then I said unto you, and wanted to know why you're single and have a very close and good friend. But every time I would see or think of it, my whole body was shaking. Come to think of it, your Ex was lucky, she should have cherished, honored, admired and was grateful for you. she's a fool to lose you.

I know you're cute, but every time I see you, you would tend to look even sweeter than ever. When I think of you and you see I tell myself that God is really good, the greatest architect ever to design and create such wonderful eyes as bright as the stars in the sky, on a dark and lonely night. A smile brightens my world of delights.

If you are for real mean, I'll put you on my most valuable assets, my antiques, diamonds, pearls and wealth; I'll put in a glass case of himself, and polish every day, keep sparkling and I will honor, cherish, squeeze and hold you tight. At night, I'll let you carry me and put me on your pillow, directly from your site, and then kiss good night, and keep all through the night, and do it right. I would give anything to hold you. I want you so much, louisa.

Louisa
To halbert
27.06. at 8:06 AM

Good morning Halbert,

thanks for asking, yes, at work, everything was completely cool so far. There was a little stress with Ursula, she just does not want to acknowledge that she must not smoke her joints during corns treatment, but that is a constant discussion!
I then had four nail fungus patients, and 5 customers who wanted a manicure, so the cash keeps rolling in.

Halbert, you sound so romantic! I love that in a man, that's quite wonderful!
When we will be together for good, I will devotedly take care of your toenails, I solemnly promise!

I must now eat breakfast, and then going to work. Yesterday evening my neighbor (who comes from the Ruhr Area!) has left a little Mett-Igel on my doormat. Do you know Mett-Igel? They are made of ground beef, and they look very funny! I have also sent you a picture, so you can see for yourself what they look like!
So today I will have this cute little Mett-Igel, and diet beer with it, I must lose another 4 kg!

Lots of love
your Louisa

Quote:

A nocturnal love letter from Halbert

halbert
To Louisa
June 28 at 1:03 AM

Last night in my dreams I saw you on the pier.
The wind blowing through your hair, and your eyes held the fading sunlight.
I was speechless when I saw you leaning against the rail.
They are beautiful, I thought as I saw you, a vision that I never have to find someone else.
I slowly began to go to you, and when you finally turned to me, I saw that others had observed you as well.
"Do you know her?" she asked me in jealous whispers, and as you smiled at me I simply answered with the truth: "Better than I do myself."
hal

And seriously...this is the point where I would have expected him to drop me

Louisa
To halbert
june 28 at 1:14 AM

Yikes .... Halbert!

What a coincidence, I just needed to go to the toilet urgently, so I woke up! My prostate ..... you understand, don't you, eh?
And then I see this wonderful, poetic message from you!
Now I know that we are truly made for each other!
And no matter whatever kind of drugs your might be doing at night....I want some of that, too!!

I love you!
Your dripping Louisa

Silence for the whole next day....I thought I had irretrievably lost him, but then:

Quote:

To Louisa
June 29 at 11:28 PM

Love Louisa,

Thank you so much for the message (I'm really your beautiful) I also want you to know that I very much appreciate your letter every moment I my mail. You are a very special person that I seriously want to get the opportunity to establish a long-term relationship with, this will explore in time turn into a marriage and family. This is my dream and I hope it will come true with you!. In my heart I feel you all the features it needs to can make me very happy.
And here I go so that you know that I I want to be on a wish and really closer. You are a really great person who has allowed me to realize something in life in such a short time. I appreciate and thank you very much. I am here and always will be. All you need to do is email me and you know, I will answer you. This is your invitation, and it will be opened for you .... always that you us to listen to music and watch movies together, doing housework together, read books, for each other, to travel, to the detriment of some wandering lusts to want the world, so on and so forth ..
Theron, you really made me feel like a fool because I never felt like this before, but I have the feelings you show me real love, something that nobody has ever done.

Halbert Thanks ....

Invitation? An INVITATION? Sounds good to me Cool

Sometimes the announcement of a spontaneous visit may speed up the process and saves the baiting character from to many greasy blah blah blah-love letters..... so I decide to book a flight to NY

Louisa
To halbert
June 30 at 7:17 AM

Oh dear Halbert,

how romantic you are, and how just outstandingly wonderful you can write!
This touched my heart very deep inside, no man succeeded in doing this for quite some time!
And an invitation? This sounds fantastic, I haven't had a vacation for more than a decade!
You know what? I accept your invitation with joy!
I just close my salon fora few weeks and come to you!
I have already booked a flight!
I arrive on July 2. Unfortunately, arrival will not be before very late in the evening, pls. view the attached flight plan for details!
Are you happy now, are you jumping with joy?
Will you meet me at the airport and pick me up?
I'll be going to town and run a few errands, things that I need for the trip, and I will also go to the bank and get me some US currency!

Oh Halbert, I'm so happy!!

Talk to you later!
Kiss your Louisa

Posted: Tue Jul 01, 2014 6:50 am

Quote:

halbert
At LOUISA
June 30 at 7:40 AM

Hello, you love that book ticket to come down to the U.S. or how do you mean rather have? I want to really meet someone like you because you have to make me feel alive again and I'm happy about that ... I will love after stay by with what I come down there to you and yours .. then clock we can know what to do with our relationship, maybe we will move to the U.S. or we stay there and start a new life .. or what do you mean? my beautiful angel. You have my photos receive it.? ..
halbert kisses

Louisa
To halbert
June 30 at 8:20 AM

Hallo hallo Halbert,

yes yes, you got that absolutely right!
I'm as good as on my way to you!
I have booked the flight, and I will arrive on 2 July 2014 at 10.55 pm in New York, LaGuardia Airport, Terminal B.
Will you meet me please and take me home?
If this should not be possible, I need your address, then I just take a taxi.
Please give me your phone number in case something should happen, I should be able to reach you!

Kiss Kiss
Louisa

Cold panic is spreading out in New York City/Nigeria now, he almost certainly did not expect something like this

Quote:

halbert
At Louisa
June 30 9:21 AM

Have baby cuz now I'm going out of state days .. You love to make the trip for now cuz am to China for a business trip .. I am very sorry soothe baby Cancel

Both "soothe" and "cancel" are verbs that simply do NOT exist in Louisa's dictionary, but how is he to know?
Instead, she wolfs down another Mett-Igel and gets ready to travel Cool

Louisa
To halbert
June 30 at 11:01 AM

Halbert?

What do you mean, please?
I can not cancel this flight, it was a special offer, and there is NO option to cancel!
Oh God ..... now I come to New York, and you fly to China?
Who will meet me at the airport for now, if you're not there?
Can I please have your phone number? I would like talk to you URGENTLY!

I love you!
your Louisa

P. S. I have to finish packing only one more suitcase, but I am almost ready, I just have to squeeze my curling iron and my marzipan dildo in there ! Can I not come to China with you, or simply change my booking with American Airlines and meet you there? I have packed up my stuff anyway!

Quote:

halbert
To Louisa
June 30 at 7:36 PM

oh thats cool baby, but I'm going to tilt in shanghai in a few days babe, but hun you to china down or not move them your flight plan
For I also plan to come to Germany and meet you and I have already make arrangement on the.
Babe, we can take it slow, but to keep my mind thinking about you ... Miss talking to you my angel ..
halbert kisses

Louisa
At halbert
June 30 at 9:14 PM

Hello Halbert,

that's all but a good start for us! Listen, honey, if you only go to Shanghai in a few days, then there is still some time left, right?
I will not let the flight expire, and so I'll be on my way to New York, I have always wanted to go there, if only for the shopping opportunities!
Can I stay at your apartment or your house ?
Give me the address, and please leave a key under the door mat!
I promise to refill the fridge before I'll be departing!
And I can water your flowers while you're away!
Where is your little daughter when you're traveling, who takes care of her?
Is it actually true that the Chinese eat cats?

I love you!
your Louisa

Posted: Tue Jul 01, 2014 7:19 am

Halbert must definitely have a very bad conscience ....he is typing in girlish PINK letters now

Quote:

halbert
To Louisa
June 30 at 10:26 PM

Hi Honey, how are you doing now? Babe sharon I mean, my daughter to stay with her nanny. there is no one to be home with you. babe do not worry too much about it. I will make arrangement so that I finish what I want to go and do in China, so I'm on the way to Germany to my angel place, but it will be very sorry for that, babe .. honey you have shloud am his tell me before the flight ... I am very sorry that my love to do ... so honey, what are we to now, my angel?
kisses Baby

Louisa
To halbert
June 30 at 11:53 PM

Hello Halbert,

so what do you think I'm going to do now? I will fly to New York and will check out the city and go shopping, until my credit card glows with heat!
What is up now with your apartment, I can stay there? Then I can save the hotel costs, that would be at least something!

Did I understand you correctly, so you want to come to me, to Germany, from China?
Oh Halbert, I think this is quite a wonderful idea!

I love you!
your Louisa

Quote:

halbert
To Louisa
July 1 at 12:19 AM

yeah baby, I want to come down to you my love.
can 't wait to see you baby .. you can send me some of your pictures?
Beautiful Hey, I just wanted something simple to say I love you and do magic this smile that I love so much back on your face. I want everyone to know how much you mean to me. Since you came into my life, I have flown on Cloud 9 and I have not yet come not down.
I still do not know what I was so happy to have to have you in my life, my dream come true ... I'm so grateful, though. In this short time we were together, we have grown so much and I can not wait to see what the future holds for us. I love you, Jennifer, with all my heart and soul, forever and ever!
halbert kisses

JENNIFER???? WHAT THE FUCK!! He cheats on me!!!
But I will overlook that for a while, it never hurts to keep a high trump hidden in one's sleeve.
Whatever..... Halbert is obviously suffering from a severe sleep disorder, because he tries to make me happy with more of his nocturnal and verbal diarrhea:

Quote:

halbert
To Louisa
1 July at 2:13 AM

hello my love,

how are you doing now? what you've got my love to eat? want hun you cant now cuz no one come to state, is planning at home already, come to Germany and stay with you because I really know where my mother is from shift <----- where is she from? From SHIFT? Never heard of it before .....
I really ... Baby come and meet home you want in Germany .. love you so much my angel

Quote:

halbert
To Louisa
Today at 2:15 AM

my love, you just have to understand me come over you to NY .... pls my love you to cancel the ticket and refund you ticket. I am very sorry, my love .. Kisses

Quote:

halbert
To Louisa
July 1 at 2:19 AM

I went to bed last night with a vision of you next to me. I slept like a baby all night, because I do not feel alone. When I woke up this morning to see if it was real or whether it was a dream, I was struck Realty, that it is only a dream. Very soon, I know you're right beside me, and that I do not have to make it to dream again because you'll be right there, so we can hold, hug and squeeze firmly against each other. Baby, I long always with you, so I can help you and support you, so that we can meet a lot together as husband and wife.

Love always,
halbert

Hm, okay..... so he's cheating on me with JENNIFER, and he went to bed with AVISION..... that it almost too much to take for a lonely widow with a marzipan dildo and prostate problems Cool

Louisa
To halbert
July 1 at 3:37 AM

Good morning, my dear Halbert,

okay, okay ..... I've understood!
You do not want that I'm in your apartment while you are absent,
I can understand that. Maybe you're afraid that I might rummage around in your personal stuff or something.
But it is really no problem, I'll just be looking for a cheap small hotel.
I've already told you that I will NOT cancel the flight !
I'll just check out the city and go do a little shopping.

Where does your mother come from in Germany, from SHIFT? Where is that exactly, north or rather south of Berlin?
I think I've heard of the place before, I just have to remember where and when I have heard of it! I'm getting forgetful, it must be the age!

Oh Halbert, may I be all honest with you?
I think you're pretty sexy, and when I look at your pictures, then I feel quite warm-hearted, honestly!
I'm in love!

Oh yes, now I remember about SHIFT again, ain't that not this small town where the railway derailed and fell off the bridge, into the Tiber, and many people have drowned? I think that was it!

I love you very much, good night!
Kisses, Louisa

Posted: Tue Jul 01, 2014 8:36 am

Louisa
An halbert
1 Juli um 10:32 AM

Hello Halbert,
you might have an explanation for this, and it better be a fucking GOOD ONE!
WHO THE FUCK is JENNIFER?
You are cheating on me!!!!

I am crying my eyes out!
Louisa

Ich bin so dankbar, wenn. In dieser kurzen Zeit, die wir zusammen waren, haben wir so viel gewachsen und ich kann nicht warten, um zu sehen, was die Zukunft für uns. Ich liebe dich, Jennifer, mit meinem ganzen Herzen und Seele, für immer und ewig!

Posted: Wed Jul 02, 2014 10:23 pm

He's trying to solve the situation.....and I guess I will forgive him, to keep it going Cool

Quote:

halbert reagan
To Louisa
July 1 at 3:34 PM

Hello my dear, how are you today? I'm very sorry for the late reply. Been busy with my travel document and my business document
to China, baby I do not know about Jennifer, she has her friend to me since I do not speak on request hi5 and with her or go to hi5 after I meet you my dear. Baby you believe me, am a man from a woman that I do not share my love, body and soul with two women only one is okay for me and you are the. Best woman I for the rest of my life if you promise to make me happy and I promise you of the right as the Queen
To treat England ... Baby pls cancel the plane ticket and pls keep for me in Germany until I soon only less than a week I'll be back ...
I love you so much ... louisa
halbert kisses

Quote:

halbert reagan
To Louisa
July 1 at 3:35 PM

I promise my heart body and soul
You ... I'll never betray you my love .. on
heart

Louisa
To halbert reagan
July 1 at 11:47 PM

Good evening, my favorite!

I could never forgive you, if you would lie or deceive me or cheat on me!
Then everything between us would be instantly over!
Halbert, darling, I can not write much, I'm deadly tired, and tomorrow I will be traveling!
Are you already in China?

I love you very much!
your Louisa

Halbert tries hard to convince me not to travel and cancel my ticket instead. No chance.....and I am anxious to learn what he will say when I ask him for the phone number of his babysitter, because I want to see "my" little daughter!

Quote:

halbert reagan
At Louisa
2 July at 7:26 AM

Hello my love,
I can not access the woman I love and Babe I'm on my way to China now .. I'm sorry for the pain and stress. The ticket .. Pls Pls cancel honey baby for the sake of our love

Lluisa
To halbert reagan
Jul 2 at 12:48 PM

Hello Halbert, darling!

I'm still at the gate, our flight will have a little delay!
A friendly young man has allowed me to use his laptop to quickly send you another message!
Honey, what you mean by "cancel the ticket for love's sake"?
I wish you a good flight to China, I love you!

See you soon, I'll call you when I arrived in New York!
I love you!
your Louisa

Quote:

halbert reagan
To Louisa
July 2 at 5:32 PM

My love, I mean, call the airport that you are not going to New York again.so they could give money back. What are you going to do in New York, if it's not about me? Wish'm about to welcome you to New York. Hope someone else will not grab from me ... I love you so much baby.