Mary Mary I need your Hugging

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Posted: Thu Mar 06, 2014 2:06 am

So after a few Months absence Trucker Man is back from the Dead and ready to Party. By Gawd I am ready (for some Biscuits and Gravy)!!!!!

But First let’s meet our first contestant:

http://www.fishmeetfish.com/profile/mary14700

Everybody stay off!!!! This one is 4’3”. Am in Heaven eh?

Quote:

Mary:am mary by name and you
TJ:Am John from Oklahoma I is.
Mary:which country
TJ:The US of A and where is you coming from Mary?
Mary:well am from usa in texas city but presently in nigeria for a visit............
TJ:nigeria is that part of Canada?
Mary:no,west africa
TJ:Oh. Sorry I don't know much geopraphicy. So what you doing way over there?
Mary:just here for a visit
TJ:Gotcha. So if you don't mind me asking is you single?
Mary:yes am single and u
TJ:I sure am and I'm looking for a Gal to settle down with I is.
Mary:same here am here looking for s longterm relationship that can lead to marriage and happy home
TJ:Well am 37 years old and ain't gots much Family but I works really hard I does.
Mary:well am 34yrs of age
TJ:I sure hope I ain't too old to be talking to a Pretty little Gal like you is I?
Mary:age doesnt matter but it depend on trust and love
TJ:Them sure are nice words you be saying.
Mary:okay so can i know your past and where is your kid and wife
TJ:Well I ain't never had no wife and no kids cause I spend most of my time on the road I does.
Mary:okay so what did you do for living
TJ:Well I own me a Truck and travel all over the US of A.
Mary:okay so how long have you been on dating site
TJ:Well I signed up a while back I did but don't really check in there much no I don't.
Mary:okay,it means will are looking for the same thing
TJ:It sure does Darling. It sure does.
Mary:oky but i will have to tell you my past
TJ:Well am all ears I is.
Mary:I Read all your Story and I can see that we have things in common also.Am now Using this Opportunity to write you everything about me now. Just want you to know that Am Originally from USA. Am Only child of my Parents,And My Dad works all is Life in a Company in Nigeria. But i and My Mom use all our Life in USA. Am also a mom pet coz my Mom really love me and i Love her so much. But I and my DAD always Fight because am doing Modeling when am in College.But i have stop the Modeling once my DAD don't like it so that i can make him Happy .I loss my Parents 3yrs Ago now .And since the death of my Parents I have been Facing HELL WITH My Family in USA
TJ:Well that sure is sad Little Lady. Am a Orphan too I am cause my Folks done died in a Bad accident down at the Fudge Packing Plant back in 82 they did.
Mary:But due to what am Facing in USA with my Family so i came down here in Nigeria coz the Lawyer that my Late Parents Hand Over all the WILL of is Properties called me to come down to Nigeria to do some Stuff about the Properties.But when i get down here the Lawyer let me know that i can only have access to the Properties Until when i get married as the WILL says coz they always Follow the Law here.So that's why i seat tight now and Looking for the right Man that i will settle down and Relocate with for new Life
TJ:I think I is getting you Little Lady.
Mary:Just want You to know that since the death of my Parents am not been Happy in any Days. Coz they were Planning to Kill me and Take over all the Inheritance that's why am scared to get back to them anymore now.You can't believe it that i have not eating over 3days now due to my Financial Problem down here.But i thank my Life.I don't want to Put my Problem on you coz i don't want you to think that maybe am a Kind of woman that is After your Money or Playing Game on here.You may have even seen my Picture before due to some Problem am Facing now about the Modeling work that i have done before.Coz some of those Scammers and Blackmail always took my Pixs from Facebook and Sites to use for bad things.But I want You to know that am not a kind of woman that Play game on here at all
TJ:Aww Darling I'd never think you was that kind of Laddy no I wouldn't.
Mary:And i want You to know that am on here Looking for a serious relationship that will Long and last for lifetime and Looking for the right ,Man that will be there for me in Good and bad time.I do Like Honest,Kind,Passionate,Loyal,Outdoor,Indoor,Pets,Kids, and Dislike Lair,Betrayer..Just want U to Know that am new to this Online stuff .And am here Looking for a serious Relationship that will Long and last for lifetime and a Looking for the right Man that i will settle down with for new life...Am Height: 5'7" (175 cm), Weight: 155 lbs (61 kg), Physique: Average & Curvy, Bust: 34 in (86 cm), Waist: 26 in (66 cm), Hips: 32 in (81 cm), Dress Size: 6, Shoe Size: 10.
And i do study Nursing before i loss my Parents and since when i have loss them i have stop study due to Financial Problem that i h
TJ:Wow you sure does sound like the perfect catch you does.
Mary:Hmmm...Am very very Happy that a man like you come my way now coz i don't believe someone like you can come my way ,But i will be the Happiest woman on the earth if you can make our dream come true and start new life as we have planned it coz i can see that we have things in common and I cant wait to have you if you don't mind me at all.Hope to read more from U.
TJ:I sure hopes to read more of your sweat words too I does cause I ain't never met no Lady likes you before no I ain't!
Mary:I want u to know that i have already deposited some money with the traveling agent and all i need now to back to USA is to pay the balance to the agent and get on plane and i will be very happy if you can help me with the balance so i can be able to be on plane here and be with you there and i will also need the nearest airport closed to you there so you can come and pick me up there but what most is that i am on here to look for someone that i can be with and spend the rest of my life with. please tell me. I will give you the information you are going to use to send the money through western union money transfer,.i will send you my flight detail as soon as the balance is paid maybe you will be able to pick me at the airport,..Just want You to know that all i need for the balance of m
TJ:Well we just met a couple minutes ago but Shucks you seem like the Honest sort so why not! Hot Dawg I gots me a Little Laddy all my own I does!
Mary:so what is your plan and hope you read me
Mary:And Your Home Address??.. I wish you know how much i need U now and how much i wish to be out of this hell but i believe one things that if we are meant to be everything wanna be OK for us. Coz i know that you are God sent to me and i will never let U down. Am here waiting to read from you
TJ:Well this is all so sudden like it is but if you is wanting to come to live with me that would be right proper it would.
Mary:so will you help me with the flight ticket so i can be with you overthere
Mary:or what your plan for me
TJ:Well I was looking for a Wife to be looking after me so I does likes the idea a whole bunch I does.
Mary:so will you pay for my flight
TJ:Well how much is that gonna cost us Little Lady?
Mary:750$
TJ:Well that ain't much Darling no it ain't.
Mary:so how much will you render
BUZZ!!!
TJ:Why you buzzling me?
Mary:so will you help me with the money so i can be with you overthere
TJ:Well I done told you I would Little Lady.
Mary:so when will you do that and how would i get you home address in USA
TJ:Well I can gives you that but I needs to get back on the road cause I gots me a load of freight that just won't wait.
Mary:okay so when will you get back to road??????????
TJ:Well I should be back in Broken Arrow bout 5pm tomorrow I be figuring unless them damn Smokies is wall to wall.
Mary:okay,so will you send me the money tomorrow
TJ:Well we can talks once I gets home we can and do some ciphering we can.
Mary:so when will you get home
TJ:Oh I'm hoping for bout 5pm or so I'm figuring Little Lady.
Mary:so will you send me the money when you get home and i will have to get your home address
TJ:Well I'll get all that figured when we talks in the morning my Little Lover Gal.
Mary:okay so what is the time overthere
TJ:Its about 7:30. How bout over there in Africa?
Mary:2;25
TJ:In the afternoon?
Mary:no,midnight
TJ:Oh. I sure didn't realize that no I didn't.
Mary:so when will you come online so will can talk better
TJ:Well I'm hoping to be home bout 5 or 6 tomorrow I is.
Mary:okay so how would i know when you are online
TJ:Well I guess when I log in I'm sposing Little Lady.
Mary:okay,hope you are not chatting with another girl overthere
TJ:No Ma'am I ain't no cheater no I ain't!
Mary:okay and i want you to know that i wont hurt you or let you down okay so dont cheat on me okay
TJ:My Mama never raised no Cheaters so you best take that back cause that makes me awful sore it does.
Mary:when you get home i will send you the information you are going to send me the money okay
TJ:10-4 Little Lady. I had best back on outta here. You has yourself a good sleep. Mary:okay
Mary:thanks and i wish you good and sweet day
TJ:Aww same here. Catch you on the Flip Flop.

Mary Mary:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QgmyVLheqkQ

Posted: Fri Mar 07, 2014 12:36 am

Yay! I love reading your chats. I can't wait for him to start screaming in rage! Laughing

Posted: Sat Mar 08, 2014 11:28 pm

^ I took a Hiatus because of Holidays and that whole Fatty thing. Honestly I wasn't sure if I could do both at the same time so I guess we'll find out won't we?

Quote:

TJ:Hey there Miss Mary.
Mary:Hello
TJ:I sure been missing you.
Mary:I don't think so cos I don't think u re ready for me
TJ:I ain't understanding your meaning Little Lady.
Mary:Why don't u wait for me online,I use to wait for u always online but I don't meet you why
TJ:Well I drive a whole bunch so can't always be there Baby Doll.
Mary:Okay
TJ:I tried talking with you last night but you must of been busy or something I'm figuring.
Mary:No I just online because of you
TJ:But you never answered me Honey Pie.
Mary:Am sorry for that,am not feeling alright here
TJ:Why Honey is you feeling poorly?
Mary:Yes cos I thought you re going to send me the money yesterday so I can relocate to you overthere,cos I can't wait to meet my husband
TJ:Well this is kinda sudden Baby Gal cause we just met we did.
Mary:Yes I know but since have met you I can't get myself alright
TJ:Well that sure is sweat!
Mary:So honey I want you to know that I can't wait to set my eyes on you and I want you to know that I won't let you down or hurt you honey
TJ:You is one fine Woman you is!
Mary:So honey don't let me to fall cos have put all my trust on you
Mary:Or you don't want me with you overthere
TJ:Hey where'd you go?
Mary:Are you there my husband
TJ:I'm here Sugar Banana.
Mary:Honey I can't wait to meet you overthere that is why am saying this and I want to know that I will have to get married before having access to my father properties honey
Mary:So I want you to be my man forever,so I need your help honey
TJ:Well that sounds mighty fine to me it does but I don't even know what you looks like my Peach Cobbler.
Mary:What did you mean honey
TJ:Well I ain't even seen your picture no I ain't.
Mary:did you see the pic I send to you?
TJ:You never done sent me no picture Baby Doll.
Mary:did you see the pic I send to you?
TJ:You never done sent me no picture Baby Doll.
Mary:I send u one pic here but you didn't accept it why
TJ:Oh. Could you try again? That would be more better it would for sure.
Mary:Okay
BUZZ!!!
TJ:Why you Buzzling me?
Mary:What do you mean by that?
Mary:What are you doing on my list then?
TJ:I ain't getting you Sweat Cheeks.
Mary:Alright and what are you doing there now?
TJ:Well am just relaxing on the couch watching Wrassling is all. Maybe I should put some pants on.
Mary:OK
TJ:What you wearing Honey Child?
Mary:Night gown and i will soon go and sleep now and i just wanna to know maybe you don't forget about me
TJ:Aww I could never forget bout you my Apple Dumpling.
Mary:Great honey and when are you going to get me there with you cos i am tired of being here alone and i need you so much in my life and i will always make you happy once i arrive there with you
TJ:Well i ain't even done seen your picture yet has I?
Mary:You will soon see me in person and i just want to know when i am going to arrive there with you so that i can give you the info that you will send the money to
TJ:Well how would I even recognize you my Little Tasty Treat?
TJ:Well you is a right Pretty little Filly you is.
Mary:Yes
TJ:You gots one of thos Belly Button Janglers. One tme we thought Marge down at the diner had one of those but it turned out to be a Nutter Butter wrapper it did.
Mary:Mmmmmmmmmm
Nice pic
TJ:Aww thanks my Little Honey Comb. You gots any sexier pictures for me?
Well that sure is nice it is.
Mary:Thanks
TJ:I bets you looks all sexy like with none of them little clothes on.
Mary:Thanks
TJ:You has gots me all excited like my Ginger Snap.
Mary:When am i going to be there with you?
TJ:Am hoping real soon cause I'd like to commence Marrying you I would.
You give me a minute I gots to Hang the Hog?
Mary:I want you to know that i don't have any food stuff here and i will be very happy if you can help me out with it?
TJ:Oh well give me a second I can almost taste it.
Mary:Ok
TJ:Well that sure feels better. I was desperate my Little Snow Cone.
Hey that movie just came on where that Crazy Lady ties up James Caan and busts his leg. That sure is a Classic it is!
Mary:good
TJ:It sure it my Lover Pie.
Mary:Great
TJ:Yeah that too. We gots so much in common it is like we was made for each other it does.
Mary:I want you to know that i don't have any food stuff here and i will be very happy if you can help me out with it?
TJ:Well I didn't know that. Why don't you go to the Grocery Store my Tender Crisp?
TJ:Honey?
Mary:Yes
TJ:Well you weren't saying nothing no you weren’t!
Mary:I want you to know that i don't have any food stuff here and i will be very happy if you can help me out with it?
TJ:well I'm sure I can help you out and all.
Mary:I will be very happy if you can try to send me money for the food stuff today
TJ:Well I don't think I can get to the bank now.
Mary:I hope you have atm and what time is it there now?
TJ:Just after 3 it is my Little Hot Dog Hider.
Mary:I want you to try your possible best for me so that i can have something to eat here
Mary:any amount
TJ:Well I wants to send you everything you is needing.
Mary:Can i give you the info no?
Mary:now
TJ:Sure Darling but I gotta makes me a phone call. Can we chat in about half an hour?
Mary:Yes
TJ:Thanks my Lover Pumpkin Tart with Cream on Top.
Mary:Alright
TJ:Am back.
Mary:okay?
TJ:I was just looking at them Sexifying Pictures I was.
Mary:okay?
Mary:so when will you send me the money for my foodstuff
TJ:Well you ain't done told me how much you is needing my Gravy Boat.
Mary:can you avoid $100
TJ:Well i can avoid lots of things I can.
Mary:so when will you send me the money,cos i havent eat since morning
TJ:Aww that ain't right you needs to get some meat on them Bones you does cause I likes me a cuddly womerns. The Bigger the Cushion the Sweeter the Pushing that’s what I said for sure I did!
Mary:so whem will you send me the money and can i send you the info you need to send the money
TJ:Well its getting kinda late but I thinks you should be sending me that Bankering stuff so I is ready.
. Mary:did you have western union or money gramm nearest you
TJ:Well I don't know bout that my Tuna Surprise. I usually go and see my Banker Feller down the street and he takes care of me all proper like; even makes sure I gets me a cup of Mud just for stopping by he does.
Mary:ask of western union in your street okay
Mary:every state or city must have western union or money gramm
TJ:Well there was one but it was run by a bunch of Greasy Hippies. It was down near the Sonic it was.
Mary:that is the only place you can send me the money okay
TJ:Aww Baby Gal I can sends it from my Bank I can.
Mary:to where
TJ:Well to you my Crab Cake.
Mary:you can only send me money through money gramm or western union okay
TJ:Well that don't make a bunch of sense to me no how it sure don't.
Mary:that is the only way you can send me the money
TJ:Them places ain't safe I was reading my Tater Tot with Sauce on the side for Dipping.
Mary:but why you doing this to me..............
TJ:I ain't doing nothing to you Baby Prawn.
Mary:so why dont you send me the money through western union or money gramm
TJ:Well I done told you Little Lady that them thar places ain't safe and I wants you to get what you deserve.
Mary:so find another location to send me the money through western union okay so i can get it easily here okay
Mary:and you know i dont have account here and you know that i dont have account here okay
TJ:Sugar Tits you needs to be reasonable with me and see things my way cause I nkows my ciphering and all that Fancy Bankering stuff too I does.
Mary:so honey it means you cant find a way to send me the money through western union
TJ:Them places ain't safe so I wants to make sure you gets taken care of proper like my Bean Dip.
Mary:i knoww so find a way out to send me the money through western union or money gramm
TJ:You just ain't lissening to my Surmising here Little Laddy.
Mary:so why dont you send it through western union or money gramm
TJ:I been telling you them places is run by Hippies and Communists and some of them is Scottish too and that just ain't right no it ain't my Sweat Bun with a Caramel Center.
Mary:it means you dont love me
TJ:Awww don't you be talking like that cause that ain't true no it ain't!
Mary:but hy dont you help me and send it through western union okay
Mary:or you dont want to send me the money
TJ:Honey Pie I wants to sends you the money I does but them Money Places just ain't right we need something more better we does.
Mary:so what did you need now honey
TJ:Darling Gal I needs your Bankering informations is all and I would likes to see some more sexier pictures too cause you is making me all swolden up and all you is.
Mary:i dont have bankering information,if you know you love me so send the money through western union okay
TJ:Now you is just being all funny and Womernly now!
Mary:i dont think you love me/
TJ:We can makes this more better if you lissens but you keep saying them awful things and that's not the Baked Apple I know and love no it ain't!
Mary:so find western union or money gramm okay
TJ:If you is gonna be like this I'm gong out to the Saloon and gets me some Beers cause I needs to be thinking this over I does my Little Biscuit with Rich Creamery Butter.
Mary:so what is your plan for me and when will you send me the money
Mary:so i can get it before it too late honey
TJ:If you ain't gonna lissen then I ain't talking to you no more today. Am getting awful sore I am!
Mary:am scared
TJ:So am I!
Mary:yes honey cos i dont understand you anymore
TJ:Well you ain't making no sense either my Pumpkin Mix.
Mary:okay????????????????????????????????????????????????
TJ:I thinks it's best if you had yourself a nap so we can talk like adults later cause you is one Cranky Womern when you ain't be getting your way.
Mary:okay but i dont think you love me
TJ:I love you and them Big Boobies with all my Heart and Loins I does!

The Bigger the Cushion....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8UOYKgXk4yE

419Eater is my life Joined: 23 Jan 2014 Posts: 295

Quote:

my Little Hot Dog Hider

Great line! I definitely have to use that some time Laughing

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Mar 2012 Posts: 5373

OP you freakin crack me up!
Now I've got a hankerin to watch Spinal Tap and Misery.

Posted: Sun Mar 09, 2014 5:20 am

It almost sound like Bobby Jenny and I'm waiting for the Moneyp** issue to come up!

Posted: Mon Mar 10, 2014 12:51 am

^You almost said MP so you need to have a Drink just in case!

Yeah I was thinking the same thing and tonight it wasn't much different until the Lad broke. Nope I didn't get an account but it will come soon along with a Mule:

Quote:

TJ: Hey there Little Lady.
Mary:hello honey
TJ: Are you feeling any better?
Mary:no honey am not
Mary:cos there is alot of problem am facing
TJ: Am sorry Pop N Fresh!
Mary:okay honey so how was your day?
TJ: It sure was nice I went to the Diner and had me nice feed I did. Aww it was great I had Ham and Scalloped Potatoes and some Green Beans slathered in Butter with Apple Sauce and my Choice of Rice Pudding or Jello. Yum. I don’t think I’ll eat again for a couple hours no I won’t!
Mary:okay honey so find a way for me to send me the moeney so i can buy some foodstuff honey
TJ: Well I can do that for you for sure I can my Baby Spinach.
Mary:yes honey so i want you to send me the money through western union honey
Mary:so i can cash the money here easily honey
TJ: We done talked bout that my Pickled Pepper didn't we?
Mary:yes i know but honey find a way and send me the money through western union okay
TJ: My Olive loaf them places just ain't safe.
Mary:i know honey but send me the money through western union okay
Mary:so i can get the money easily okay
BUZZ!!!
TJ: But Plum Pudding that just ain't how its gonna happen cause I gotta make sure you gets whats you deserve.
Mary:honey go to street and send me the money through western union honey cos i havent eat since yesterday honey
TJ: You just ain't lissening.
Mary:i listening honey
Mary:honey i love you with all my heart so honey send it through western union or money gramm
TJ: You needs to sends me your Bankering informations Custard Kitty Cat.
Mary:but honey send anyone to western union so to send me the money
Mary:when you get to bank ask for western union honey
TJ: Awww you is stubborn like a Mule tied to a Ant Hill smothered in Jam and Extra Crunchy Peanut Butter you is.
Mary:but honey why you doing this to me and can you send me the monney through my sister in arizona
TJ: Well you never told me bout no Sister now Honey Pie.
Mary:so will you send it to is account honey
Mary:so i can get the money here through her honey
TJ: Well I sure enough can do that my Sweaty Buns with extra Raisins.
Mary:okay honey i will send you is bank information okay
TJ: That's a big Ten-Four it is Baby’s got Back!
Mary:so when should i send you the information
TJ: Well if you sends it now I can takes care of everything first thing in the morning my Tomato Butter.
Mary:okay i will do that honey
TJ: See Darling ain't it nice we can agree like a Happy Couple?
Mary:okay honey i love u so much
TJ: Aww I love you too my little Clam Surprise.
Mary:i love so so so so so so so so so so much
TJ: Ditto Baby Gal.
Mary:i love you honey
TJ: I loves you so much too I does my Potato with chives and sour cream.
Mary:okay honey
TJ: So what you wearing Honey?
Mary:wearing top and trouser
TJ: Oh i was hoping you was dressed sexier is all my Little Cinnamon Bun
BUZZ!!!
TJ: Why you Buzzling me?
I thoughts you was sending me that bankering informations Lover Gal.
Mary:not yet honey i will like to get the account from my aunt okay
TJ: Okay Baby Lover but when would that be?
Mary:i send it to you when you are online okay
Mary:or can you give me your number so i can text you okay
BUZZ!!!
BUZZ!!!
TJ: Well I'm here now just send it to me so I has it Pudding Pop.
Mary:okay honey?
BUZZ!!!
Mary:i love you so much
TJ: I sure do love you too my Sausage stuffee
A SHIT LOAD OF EMOTICONS LATER
TJ: You is funnier than a Whole Hockey Sock of Caterpillars you is!
Mary:why
TJ: Well you sends me them funny Doo Dads you does and they is Dancing kinda like James Brown cept he don’t Dance no more cause he don’t feel so Good I been Hearing.
Mary:okay honey
TJ: You sending me that Bankering stuff Baby Gal?
Mary:i will send you honey
TJ: Okay Baby Lover cause I gots to go soon and gets me to the Diner cause they gots a Kathy Bates special on and it comes with Fried Green Tomaters it does!
Mary:okay i will send it to you and i wish you will meet it when yiou come online
TJ: That's a big Ten Four Little Lady.
Mary:okay honey
TJ: So are you sending it to me now Baby Lover with Side of Slaw?
Mary:no honey i will send it later
TJ: What you mean later Triple Pork Poutine? I can make the transfer in the Morning if you sends it now.
Mary:okay honey i will send it to you early the money okay
TJ: Okay Baby Lover. You has a nice sleep okay like Pigs in Blankets I spose!
Mary:okay honey
love you
TJ: Love you more! I Fink you Feeky and I like you a lot!
Mary:okay honey

NSFW

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Uee_mcxvrw

Posted: Mon Mar 10, 2014 1:08 am

^^^Thanks! Now it's stuck in my head. I have to stop clicking!

Quote:

Clam Surprise

Ewwwwww..............

Posted: Fri Mar 14, 2014 12:59 am

Mary kinda went the way of the Bison then returned with an address for Wester Onion then we chatted anew:

Quote:

Mary:hello
BUZZ!!!
TJ: Hey there Little Lady where you been at?
Mary:am sorry honey my computer get a fault
Mary:did you get the information i send to you honey
BUZZ!!!
TJ: Why you Buzzling me? Am right here by Gawd!
Mary:okay did you get the information i send to you honey
TJ: Well I did Dumpling butt but it wasn't what we was talking bout no it sure weren't.
Mary:but honey i said you should send me the money through western union
TJ: No Baby Greens we decided that a Bank Account was More Better we did.
Mary:okay honey i will tryand get the bank account okay
TJ: Well that would sure be proper it would my Little Jam Tart.
Mary:okay honey
TJ: While you is looking that up do you gots any sexy pictures for your Man? I sure does got the Itch if you know what I'm saying?
Mary:yes i know honey but i want you to know that i dont have pic here wait till i get to you overthere
TJ: Aww that makes me sad my Little Plum Pudding.
Mary:sorry honey
TJ: You could snap a quick one couldn't Sweat Cheeks?
Mary:am here with you honey
TJ: So what you doing?
Mary:nothing honey just here thinking
TJ: What you thinking bout my Bacon Bit?
Mary:about the account
TJ: Well what is there to be thinking about my Tender Flake?
Mary:cos i dont have account in usa
Mary:pls honey find me a way to send it through western union
TJ: Honey buns any account will do.
Mary:so i will try and get you one of my brother account in sa okay
TJ: Well that would sure work my Little Cherry Limeade.

For Pete's sakes no Nudity, No account. Why me Lord?