Wow. I actually feel dumber.

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Posted: Fri Nov 08, 2013 4:08 pm

Taking a shot at a Vlad for the first real time. I've thrown some "love in" on other baits. I had a headache after reading this:

Quote:

Hi!
Today the sun not looking on already autumn weather at me fine mood shines. I am very glad, that you have answered my letter. My name Anastasia. Well, you tell me later your name is Nastya. Make up your mind!Thought on acquaintance
On the Internet has arrived to me unexpectedly as I do not have favourite person.
I sat on a visit at the best girlfriend and drank coffee. She has told, that now acquaintance on the Internet usually in the whole World.
I do not have profile on the Internet. I am not registered in social networks as me it interests a little.
Then my girlfriend has offered, that I exploited a site of acquaintances.
I have considered some profiles, but I have decided to write only to you as you to me are more nice also I would like to learn about you more.
I do not remember the site name, but I think, that is remarkable, that we can already carry on dialogue and learn each other.
I wish to tell to you at once, that I search in the man. I hope for your decency, love
And sincere relations to me. For me it is important, that the person was to me kind, attentive and sympathetic.
I hope, that these qualities are at you and then our purposes and vital interests can coincide.
I am confused, and in general I do not know what to write in the letter. You can look at my photo, that
To see my physical given and womanly qualities. My growth of 174 centimetres. My weight of 53 kg. December, 8th 1983 I was born.
My sign on Zodiac Sagittarius. What sign on the Zodiac at you?
I have many interests. I like to study the new.
To me like humour. I think, that in the future you can be convinced of it.
I will be glad to answer questions which you interest. It will be very interesting and pleasant to me to learn about you more. It is interesting to me to study your country. I live in Russia.
Write me the name as I can name you by name? Thus it will be more convenient to us to communicate.
I wait your letter. I wait your photos.
Anastasia.

So, you're 30? Why tell me this today:

Quote:

To me of 28 years.
I from Russia.
It is very pleasant to me to communicate with you.
When you had a boy last time.
The photos from phone have come to me.
I cannot send you the photos as my phone is very old and I can not make video as at me the computer and my laptop has broken. Yet, you send me two pictures everyday?I am very afflicted.
Soon I will buy the new laptop but while I would like to see your video and to play with the cat looking on your video!
You very much like me.
I would like you my darling!!!!

I'm sure you want me to send you a laptop or buy you a new one? To be clear, "she" was confused for a long time on whether or not I was male or female. Now that she knows Mary Jane Bong is bisexual, "she's" even more confused.

Posted: Fri Nov 08, 2013 4:19 pm

Nastya is a short dimunitive-endearing form of Anastasia. Like "Dick" for "Richard".

But yeah, the lack of grammar and everything makes my eyes cross.

Posted: Fri Nov 08, 2013 4:38 pm

Mainoksia wrote:

Nastya is a short dimunitive-endearing form of Anastasia. Like "Dick" for "Richard".

But yeah, the lack of grammar and everything makes my eyes cross.

Yeah, I had that part! Lad may be playing on the term "Nasty," but with those language skills, I doubt it.

I have been using Translate to convert my replies to German, then French, then back to English. That should help the Vlad's language skills!

Posted: Fri Nov 08, 2013 4:39 pm

If "she" hits you up for translator fees, you have a good argument for not paying the incompetents.

Posted: Fri Nov 08, 2013 4:41 pm

bware419ers wrote:

I have been using Translate to convert my replies to German, then French, then back to English. That should help the Vlad's language skills!

!!! I bet that'll help! And, great idea for mangling my own English if I need to - I can't twist my mind enough to write like NV for example, but google translate to the rescue! How about spicing it up with English > Urdu > Russian > Finnish > English? I bet it'll turn out gorgeous!

Posted: Fri Nov 08, 2013 4:43 pm

I about spit coffee across the table when she asked for a pic of my "cat." While I'm allergic to the critters, I did send a nice picture of a Bengal kitten.

Posted: Fri Nov 08, 2013 4:46 pm

My last post. English -> Russian -> Urdu -> Latin -> English:

Enough to manage by the table he asked for my pic on the table do not care enough "the cat". Critters am allergic to, while I was sent to Bengal kitten good shots.

EDIT: Forgot to copy and paste the opening phrase.

Posted: Fri Nov 08, 2013 5:48 pm

Vlads are fun-but I admit to having a twisted sense of humor. Getting them off script is a chore. Fat Boris has already given the excuse why no skype or chat. Bet you will hear why her phone won't work eitehr.

But Russian Piggies do exist!

Posted: Fri Nov 08, 2013 5:53 pm

Lad is already off-script. It took him by surprise when I revealed he wasn't speaking to a man. Mary Jane Bong has been known to send some revealing "selfies." He's begging for a video and complaining about his/her laptop, but no request yet. He is very concerned about MJ's first time with a boy.

Posted: Fri Nov 08, 2013 7:19 pm

So I have tried and I have tried but cannot get Vlads to flinch. Off-Script? Vhat the Heck is that?

Am Jealous! Great stuff!

Posted: Sat Nov 09, 2013 1:42 pm

The stupidity continues and Nasty A is about half off script:

Quote:

How you my girlfriend?
Yesterday I had problems with the Internet and I could not answer you.
I would like to try the damp cat.
Tell to me as it in general?
What sensations?

Is a damp cat similar to a wet willy?

Posted: Tue Nov 12, 2013 4:23 am

Back on script, or rather a combination of several previously sent ones. I have a headache:

Quote:

Hello!
It again I!
Forgive, that I not so often write to you.
Simply at me it is a lot of work and I cannot so often to check mail.
Whenever possible I will try to write to you often.
I very much hope, that you will not strongly be afflicted on me from for it.
How your mood? I very much waited today to see the answer to my letter.
I was confident, that you will answer my letter and I am very glad to it. Last night, I wished to look the letter from you,
But my laptop of the house has broken, it very old and to repair is not subject, I plan to buy the new laptop,
When I will receive the salary on my work. Now I on work, am convenient to write me letters from work.
I work every day, except Sunday. On Sunday I cannot see your letters.
I start to work in 09:00 in the morning. I stop to work in 17:00 in the evening.
I work in advertising agency.
My post the expert in advertising. I like my work. I work behind the computer much.
I have a higher education. I have finished training at design and management faculty.
I live in the city of Tyumen. You can see my city on the Internet. Capital of Russia, the city of Moscow.
Distance to a city of Moscow about 2160 kilometres from my city. You sometime were in Russia?
When I have decided to get acquainted with the man in agency of acquaintances, I have considered many profiles of men,
But I have written the letter only to you as you to me are nice also I very much would like to learn you more close. It is difficult to me to explain my choice. Possibly my heart has prompted,
That I should write the letter to you. I have got used to trust the heart.
I am done not frightened by an age difference, for me it is important that the man was kind,
Sympathetic, gentle and that he was able to address correctly with the woman. I wish to ask you about sincerity.
I want, that ours with you dialogue has been based on trust and mutual understanding. Now we know each other a little.
I hope, that the trust will appear in due course between us. In the future I can give you a mobile phone,
But now I wish to learn you better and more close to communicate to you.
Everything is interesting to me, that occurs in your life. Please, do not forget to answer my questions.
How you spend a free time?
What your favourite hobby?
Today I send you the photos and I will be glad to see your photos in the new letter.
Forgive, but I should continue to work now. Thanks for your attention.
I hope, that my letter was not boring for you.
Anastasia.

Boring? I read about 15 words and skipped to the end. You Vlad baiters have my sympathy!

Baiting Guru Joined: 27 Mar 2011 Posts: 21155

^^^It gets a lot easier to skim and find a few things to write back with as you get used to them but they are rather boring most of the time.

Posted: Tue Nov 12, 2013 5:17 am

I think your lad is getting his scripts from chatting with Cleverbot.

Posted: Tue Nov 12, 2013 10:27 am

The cut and paste still refers to her desire to meet a man. Maybe you should address that misapprehension?

Posted: Thu Nov 21, 2013 7:21 pm

^^^^^It has been addressed.
Now I get two emails. One scripted. One not.

Quote:

Hi! Why do not you write me? I look forward to your letters and news! Anastasia ..

Quote:

I have told u im a girl not a dud. Is that ok? Ever been wit a girly girl?

Quote:

Show me your kitty, so I saw her!
I can not send you my video because my camera broke.
I want you baby!

Jeez...don't they have porn in Russia?
A couple of the same scripts already sent resulting in a slap.
I called the Vlad out:

Quote:

I think ur a guy just trying to see my goods and c*%t

I HATE that word and figure if he uses it then its good de-education.

Quote:

Are you kidding me?
Do I look like a guy?
Honey, my camera broke and when I do it I will send you my video!
You really like me and I never had sex with a girl just with the guys and I would very much like to see this was just sex with you!

Not happening buddy!
Then this crap:

Quote:

My Love ! ! !
I have just returned from a walk from the park and immediately ran to the computer , in order to check your email . As I was happy to find it there ! I am very glad that you trust me , because I was very nervous and today I want to tell you my thoughts ! I hope you like them ... )
All day my mind was filled with the most incredible and passionate thoughts about you and how we together my love ! ! !
I imagined how will we meet . I hope you like it.
It started with the idea of ??my arrival at the airport , and you met me at the airport with flowers and a box of chocolates ! ! I told you once I passed the turnstile , screaming your name and ran to your arms ! ! ! Much we held each other 's arms in the most incredible and I whispered in your ear, my love , I love you with all my heart "! ! ! I tilted her head back and brushed the hair from his eyes, and we studied look at each other, then you are looking at my lips, you kissed me and I felt the most incredible softness of your lips. I could feel the passion visited both of us ! ! ! most incredible luck was between us , and you said to me , "Nastya, let's go home," I smiled and kissed your cheek , and we headed to the baggage claim to pick up my luggage ! ! hold your hand I could not take my eyes off you! ! ! Once we took my luggage , we walked to the door, lozhili my suitcase in the car again and our lips connected, met with such passion ! ! !
As we were driving to your house , my hand remained in your hand , and we talked about our love for each other , stopping the car three times to kiss ! ! ! When we come to your house and went into the house , you spend me a tour of the house , nice and soft music , candle -lit ! ! ! You took me to his bedroom and showed me new towels, which you took for me! ! You offered me a shower and a bit of privacy while I was taking a shower , and you checked the lunch that you have prepared . Did you bring me a glass of chilled wine , kissed me and gave me a kiss! ! ! ! Later, I came from the bedroom in the most beautiful dress I wore for you again and we enjoyed each other. You prepared a pot roast with vegetables, fresh salad , soup , bread and wine of course ! ! ! Light the candles lit up our bodies ! ! ! ! After dinner, you took me by the hand and led her to look up at the stars and the moon , it would be amazing ! ! You approached me from behind, slid my hand around to keep our hands on my stomach , and I felt that you fully pressed his body ! ! ! You started to gnaw a bit my ear , whispering sweet words of love, kissing my neck and shoulders slightly ! ! We turned to each other party and our lips met sweet kisses , we were happy to feel the warmth of our bodies ! ! We went into the house to hear the music and dancing a slow dance because I could feel the passion growing between us ! ! ! You then took me into a room, and we love to dance , kiss , and our passion has continued to grow !
With every kiss the intensity of our passion grew and my hands and lips seem to glide through your entire body , all the more fun and there was a night just for the two of us ! ! ! Finally moving to the bedroom, where we shared our passion for each other and making love ! ! ! You let me sleep for a while , before you woke me up with a cooked breakfast ! ! ! As we ate , are you prepared a bath for me , and I took you by the hand and led him take a bath together! I love you with all my heart and soul, my love ! ! Forever , my Giordy!!! I send kisses to you! !
I imagined it all in my stomach butterflies were flying from happiness ! I wish that you knew it , and I think I'm not offended you with my desire ? ) I just wanted to tell you this , what would you know how much I miss you and I just keep thinking about you and our meeting !
Now you're really busy and I understand that you are trying for our meeting and our happiness. I 'll wait for your letter.
Yours and yours alone Nastya.

Quote:

Who the F is Giordy?

Posted: Thu Nov 21, 2013 8:02 pm

This nearly made me spew:

Quote:

my stomach butterflies were flying from happiness

A good Antacid would clear you right up Darling.

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