Reprob8 thrown out of a Home Depot Store

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Posted: Sat May 12, 2007 4:38 pm

I'm sure many of us have been thrown out of bars but how many of us have been thrown out of home improvement stores? I just was.

First off, I'm out of Vicodin, the sight-seeing in Scotland exhausted my supply and my beloved dentist has cut me off till August so I'm a bit of a prick to begin with. I go into Home Depot because Educ8 decided I need to spray paint the white wicker porch furniture (in my opinion, it looks just fine but she's anal-retentive so what can I do?). So I go through the self-checkout with my 2 cans of white spray paint, I scan the first item and this screen pops up - "Wait for Cashier-ID Needed" - the bitch monitoring the self-check-out is less than 6 feet away from me - do I look like I'm under 21??? - I DON'T THINK SO! Evil or Very Mad

Still, the slag makes me walk over to her desk, says I have to take my ID out of my wallet and fill out a form saying I don't intend to inhale the spraypaint and/or use it for graffiti!! I said, "What are you - a f*&King cop? , I just want to paint some lawn furniture fer Chrissake". The manager hears my comments and asks what the problem is. I explain I just want to get some spraypaint for my porch furniture and I don't think I should have to fill out any of their G.D. Forms to purchase it. He starts to tell me about their store policy and I said "F&^% your store policy, no wonder your employees get shot outside the store, every time I shop here, I feel like killing somebody by the time I leave." That was probably the wrong thing to say since 2 of their employees were shot and killed outside the store at 7 am about 2 weeks ago in an apparent drug deal gone bad. Needless to say, at this point, my voice had reached a level that anyone in a 50 ft radius, including employees and security guards clearly heard what I said and angrily started walking in my direction. I was getting myself ready for a full frontal attack but a local cop who happened to be buying a hotdog and a churro at the mini-food stand near the check-out lines grabbed me and told me get the hell out of the store. The manager followed us out, screaming "you're not welcome to shop here, anymore". I said "Oh that'll hurt, Menards (another home improvement store) is right down the street and I don't have to worry about getting caught in crossfire when I shop there". At this point, I thought the manager's head was going to explode and I thought the cop was going to start clubbing me if I didn't STFU, so I let the cop escort me to my car and ignored the manager's rantings the rest of the way. So I went to Menards and got my spraypaint, no forms, and I saved 8 cents, too!!

Posted: Sat May 12, 2007 4:40 pm

Funny coincidence. I just bought two cans of white spray paint for our screen door at home depot. I didn't get kicked out, but man, I hate that place!

Posted: Sat May 12, 2007 4:50 pm

How you get through every day without ending up in jail, I will never know. Rolling Eyes

Posted: Sat May 12, 2007 4:55 pm

Reprob8 wrote:

a local cop who happened to be buying a hotdog and a churro at the mini-food stand near the check-out

And I thought all this about cops and snack stands were all just jokes. Laughing

Posted: Sat May 12, 2007 4:55 pm

@Reprob8

I'm usually not one to say this, but in this case shop-lifting that paint may have saved you a lot of trouble. Wink

Posted: Sat May 12, 2007 6:18 pm

Don't take this the wrong way, but I might not sell you a can of spray paint either. Not because I think you would inhale it, or graffiti my house.

I just know it would produce a much better story.

Posted: Sat May 12, 2007 6:24 pm

Sorry that it happen.
I have never been kicked out of anywhere. Cool

Posted: Sat May 12, 2007 6:50 pm

Taking a shower and combing your hair before going out shopping seems to prevent incidents like this Laughing

Posted: Sat May 12, 2007 6:57 pm

rumbero wrote:

... combing your hair ...

Uhhhhh.

Posted: Sat May 12, 2007 7:06 pm

That's why I shop at Lowes.

Posted: Sat May 12, 2007 7:19 pm

Wow. I was once in a group of people who got kicked out of a bowling alley for being too loud. On another occasion a table of 12 drunken Aussies asked me and a friend to hold the noise down. But this story beats both of those.

@R8 - how did Educ8 take the news that you are no longer welcome at Home Depot? Laughing

Posted: Sat May 12, 2007 8:16 pm

Eight wrote:

How you get through every day without ending up in jail, I will never know. Rolling Eyes

Clean Living?? Very Happy

Krona wrote:

R8 - how did Educ8 take the news that you are no longer welcome at Home Depot?

Overjoyed till I told her I applied for the "Menards Big Card"

luckey wrote:

Don't take this the wrong way, but I might not sell you a can of spray paint either. Not because I think you would inhale it, or graffiti my house.

I just know it would produce a much better story

Am I missing something? What does that mean? Confused

Elite Baiter Joined: 03 Jan 2006 Posts: 1455

I'm interested in what would have happened if you'd signed the form to say that you were going to use one for graffiting the Polis station, and the other for either inhaling while high on crack or attaching a wick to and throwing into Home Depot.

I've a tenner says they wouldn't have noticed.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 23 Oct 2006 Posts: 63

"Save big money at Menards!"

Son loves to sing that song all the time...

Posted: Sat May 12, 2007 8:40 pm

Quote:

Am I missing something? What does that mean?

Well, would you have posted if you had walked out of there with a can of paint?

Edit:

I meant no offense. A less interesting person might have signed the stupid form and left it at that. If I worked at your Home Depot (and I'm not saying I do) I might already know that you have the potential to make my soul crushingly boring day a little more interesting. So I would have pushed the form. Even if it meant risking loosing a few teeth.

Posted: Sat May 12, 2007 8:48 pm

Good Point!!

419Eater Admin Joined: 30 Sep 2003 Posts: 7469

Damn R8; you're making a habit of getting thrown out of shitty places Wink

Posted: Sat May 12, 2007 10:46 pm

Reprob8 wrote:

I'm out of Vicodin

I for one, run for cover!

Posted: Sat May 12, 2007 10:54 pm

Two note's;

Lowe's has lost my carpet order, as only 5 people work this warehouse sized behemoth, all based in different departments. Certainly not flooring. I anticipate the store manager hides in his windowless box, waiting for his bonus check to show up.

I'll be in more negoations with the "Safekeeper".
Joe, out.

Posted: Sat May 12, 2007 11:41 pm

I knew I would be punished in some way for my behavior, I just didn't think justice would be so quick.... I got back from Home Depot, told Educ8 the story - Oddly enough, she wasn't surprised. She asked what I thought of Menards - I mistakenly said "Much Bigger, way cleaner, larger selection". We went to grab a bite to eat, she was driving, guess where she decided we had to stop on the way home?? You guessed it, the FLOWER/GARDEN section of Menards Crying or Very sad

I'd rather chew on my own colon than shop for flowers and plants but there I was, for 45 minutes, pushing a cart as she loaded it with more flowers than you see at an average funeral. Justice is served.

Posted: Sun May 13, 2007 12:23 am

I reckon you should submit your story here.

And then send them a snotty email when they refuse to publish you.

Posted: Sun May 13, 2007 12:28 am

My friends and I nearly got kicked out of B&Q the other week. Granted, we were walking around with a camera and tripod set up in our trolley.

Fortunately, we managed to talk ourselves out of it Wink

Posted: Sun May 13, 2007 12:32 am

Awe,
Flowers! jump_4_joy

Posted: Sun May 13, 2007 1:08 am

A while ago I had to hunt down a clerk at Home Dufus to buy some wire. I was installing a remote button for the garage door opener in the family room. I needed 142 feet of number 18/2. That's two conductors of what looks like something a little larger than phone wire together in one jacket.

I have to find the sales guy and then wait for him to cut conductors for an electrician wiring up a pool motor. I know that the electrician is wiring up a safety and code violation as his neutral conductor is much smaller than his "hot". I ask him if he has heard of criminal negligence as he walks away.

So after 40 minutes I get this guy to turn the handle on this device to measure the number of feet to be cut. He asks me what it's for.

I tell him I'm wiring the electric dryer in the garage. He looks at me strange and mumbles something about amperage. I tell him, that's OK, I'm going to run it at 240 volts, that will cut the amperage in half.

I thought it was funny. I suddenly realize that this guy is absolutely clueless so I tell him what's up, its a "Class 2" installation of signal wire and ampacity does not play a role.

He stops and starts thumbing through his copy of the National Electric Code. I ask him if he's looking up ampacities and explain that it really will be a safe and legal installation, just cut the wire and put on a label. I watch him hunt for a few minutes while I tell him ampacities of single conductors are listed in the table on Article 310-16. I watch him look there for many more minutes while I tell him 18/2 is not listed there. Listen, the maximum current is less than 50 milliamps, lets get on with it.

Out comes the form.

So Nancy Reagan bought some bell wire from Home Dufus that day.

Posted: Sun May 13, 2007 4:32 am

Quote:

I don't think I should have to fill out any of their G.D. Forms to purchase it.

OMG how did this thread get this far with out any mention of this?

Quote:

I don't think I should have to fill out any of their G.D. Forms to purchase it.

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha Laughing

Wait................
Laughing

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahaahha Laughing

THAT'S THE BEST LAUGH I'VE HAD IN A WHILE, thanks Wink

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