Customs Forms

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Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2007 8:45 am

Morning all,

Im all new to this but i thought that i would give some form making a go.

My lad at the moment has handed me over to the security company so i can collect his 'diplomatic cargo' from Hungary. So i thought it would be a good idea to make up some customs import forms for him to fill out.

Ive tried to be quite subtle with the questions because he is based in the western world (I checked his email headers) so his grasp of English may be better that the guy from Nigeria. Maybe if he fills the forms out, i can hit him with something a little more outrageous.

Take a look and see what you think. If they are poop, be honest with me and give me some constuctive critisism.

Cheers all.....................Face Man

Links:

http://i165.photobucket.com/albums/u65/akpb123/UKCustomsDec1.jpg

http://i165.photobucket.com/albums/u65/akpb123/UKCustomsDec2.jpg

http://i165.photobucket.com/albums/u65/akpb123/UKCustomsDec3.jpg

http://i165.photobucket.com/albums/u65/akpb123/UKCustomsDec4.jpg

http://i165.photobucket.com/albums/u65/akpb123/UKCustomsDec5.jpg

http://i165.photobucket.com/albums/u65/akpb123/UKCustomsDec6.jpg

http://i165.photobucket.com/albums/u65/akpb123/UKCustomsDec7.jpg

Thats it you greedy buggers!!!

Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2007 9:29 am

A couple of minor grammatical errors, but on the whole if it keeps a lad busy, then it has served its purpose.

Faceman's on the jazz!

Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2007 9:32 am

Raoul Duke wrote:

A couple of minor grammatical errors, but on the whole if it keeps a lad busy, then it has served its purpose.

If you let me know where, i can sort it.

Cheers

Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2007 9:37 am

I lived in Hungary for 7 years. If I can be of any help on this one let me know.

Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2007 9:39 am

Ziggyzap wrote:

I lived in Hungary for 7 years. If I can be of any help on this one let me know.

Nice one, i will see how it goes and maybe i will need to call in the heavies!!!

Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2007 9:49 am

Just a few suggestions:

Page 3 - 7 Have you been approached, or have you ever intended to become a suicide bomber

I would suggest changing "in touch with the devil" to "in communion" on 4 -21 otherwise it sounds a bit like the Prince of Darkness is a casual aquaintance. Twisted Evil

5 -32- E "impersonating an official"

6 - 45 Have you ever commited witchcraft or black magic, communed with the dead at a seance or via a ouija board

6 - 47 What is your opinion of the War On Terror.

Otherwise it rocks! Cool

Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2007 10:00 am

OK, consider it changed. Do you think it would work as an official form without giving too much away?

Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2007 10:28 am

Templeton,

Ask your buda-PEST lad which Gabor sister he liked better, Eva or Zsa Zsa.

One of the worst curses you could tell a Hungarian is " Lo'fasz A Seggedbe". I won't get into specifics, but it involves a male horse and that place on your anatomy where the sun doth not shine.

Work that into a reply inocuously---tell the lad it's the name of your banker, etc. If it doesn't get a heated response you'll know he's not a real Hungarian. [I'm not either, btw].

cheerz, jervis tetch---mad hatter

Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2007 11:02 am

I love forms... Just added to the arsenal.

Very Happy

Posted: Tue Mar 20, 2007 9:47 am

Jervis Tetch wrote:

Templeton,

Ask your buda-PEST lad which Gabor sister he liked better, Eva or Zsa Zsa.

One of the worst curses you could tell a Hungarian is " Lo'fasz A Seggedbe". I won't get into specifics, but it involves a male horse and that place on your anatomy where the sun doth not shine.

Work that into a reply inocuously---tell the lad it's the name of your banker, etc. If it doesn't get a heated response you'll know he's not a real Hungarian. [I'm not either, btw].

cheerz, jervis tetch---mad hatter

Wow someone who speaks Magyar, This could just get better, mert en is, de Angol vagyok Smile

Posted: Tue Mar 20, 2007 10:06 am

Nice forms TP. I'll stick em', you know where. Wink

Posted: Tue Mar 20, 2007 10:30 am

Very good forms. There are a few spelling errors.

Authorising
Questionnaire

There is a reference to the KGB, I don't think they go by that name anymore.
Using 10 Downing St as the watermark isn't really correct :
International Trade Written Enquiries Team
HM Revenue and Customs
Crownhill Court
Tailyour Road
Plymouth
PL6 5BZ
Is their correct address.
The nick-picking bits :
Page 1 'Block Capitals' make it read BLOCK CAPITALS
All pages - Change the date from 2007 to 2005 or 2006
'We've been using this form for years!'
Question 9 - Mentalist? try Mentally unfit/ Clinically insane.
Question 10 enter cargo, try ship or transport
Question 13 change slash at end of question to ?
Question 14 KGB? is now FSB in Russia (changed 1995)
Question 19 change Sandwich to sandwich
Question 33 change gun for firearm
Question 38 reduce the gap between 'give' and 'details'
Declaration page - I would delete the 'holy bible' bit to make it multi-
cultural.
Item V - change intrusion for Burglary
In the last declaration change leisure for pleasure and make 'god' read 'God'

Alternative declaration :
I/we understand that by signing below I/we confirm that all information given is correct to the best of my/our knowledge. That any false delclarations made in the above document make me/us liable to imprisonment upon conviction in accordance with the relevant Laws applicable.
I don't think we can ever have enough forms. Keep up the good work

Posted: Tue Mar 20, 2007 11:10 am

Need to add

When you last had a gerbil in your rectum, how did the doctor remove it

Master Baiter Joined: 18 Oct 2006 Posts: 146

Nice forms, but you might want to take out the question that asks for their email password. I had a lad fill out something similar a while back and posted it on here but it got deleted due to phishing laws or something.