Cropper's Kitchen Nightmares - DIY blog

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Posted: Tue Feb 27, 2007 4:07 pm

Hey, I can get a digger off Ebay for less than 7 grand, have a multistory kitchen with a lift. And all those mining millionaires must have started out by digging a deep hole. trouble is, I live on top of a hill, so I'd have to dig a lot deeper before I got properly underground.

It'd keep my mind busy though. Very Happy

I was up till 1am papering the ceiling with that blown vinyl stuff, now all the nasty blurgs in the ceiling are gone. My Brother in Law does a lot of this sort of thing, and made me aware of Radio Caroline on the Sky satellite, which helps a lot, seeing as watching telly is now difficult. Tonight it gets a coat of cream emulsion. Probably so will I.

Theres lots more room in the kitchen now, there's even somewhere to put the stepladders. While I had the room, I took a picture of the cooker for Ebay as well.

I found another layer of wood effect floor tiles under the units, it's like Time Team! No Roman Mosaics or saxon churches yet though.

I did find bits of old paisley pattern wallpaper, that must have looked garish in the 1970's. maybe the V&A Museum might be interested.

Posted: Tue Feb 27, 2007 4:09 pm

That wallpaper reminds me of some lads we've seen Laughing

Posted: Tue Feb 27, 2007 4:19 pm

Isn't that wallpaper lining a trunk box somewhere?

Posted: Tue Feb 27, 2007 8:48 pm

Good to see the wreaking bar is still close at hand along with the lump hammer. The most trusted tools any man can have Smile

Posted: Thu Mar 01, 2007 12:57 pm

Ooer, push has come to shove, and there are now 3 very big boxes in the kitchen, and 13 smaller ones in the dining room. Shocked

I'm trying to ignore them as I paint the ceiling, while my best 501's go round in the washer, in attempt to prove that cream emulsion is completely water soluble. Embarassed

This whole self assembly thing is a con, they've been there an hour and haven't done a thing yet. Laughing

MM, you've done this sort of thing before. Will there be instructions in the big boxes? Do I need to fit the drawer runners before I put the cabinets together?

On Edmudo's advice, were doing one side of the kitchen first, before I even buy the stuff for the other side, he says he'll come back when Ive built the high cooker cabinet and the 2 base ones, then well fix them to each other and the wall. Then at least we'll have some shelves again.

Posted: Thu Mar 01, 2007 1:29 pm

Roycropper wrote:

Will there be instructions in the big boxes?

It's quite probable. They will be written in Arabic, Chinese, German, Latin, Swedish and Wookie complete with a teeny weeny diagram that makes a nuclear power plant look like 5 minutes work with 3 baked bean tins, a length of string and a paperclip.

But you can throw them out without further consideration because real men don't need instructions.

Posted: Thu Mar 01, 2007 2:32 pm

callum wrote:

......But you can throw them out without further consideration because real men don't need instructions.

Instructions are very useful. For kindling the pyre that consumes the corpse(s) of d.i.y handiwork.

Posted: Thu Mar 01, 2007 11:04 pm

callum wrote:

But you can throw them out without further consideration because real men don't need instructions.

Save the instructions, because Mrs Cropper will need them mercilessly to taunt you every time a piece falls off or doesn't work properly owing entirely to your failure to read them. Failure to save them will reduce the precision of her taunts but give her another reason to berate you. Laughing

Posted: Fri Mar 02, 2007 8:54 am

Roy

IIRC the runners for the drawers go in after the carcasse goes together.

Yes i will agree that the "instructions" are less than helpful but if one applies a modicum of logic, doesn't rush and takes their time then the kit does go together as planned.

Posted: Fri Mar 02, 2007 9:43 am

The first bit of the instructions was in 18 different languages, it told me useful stuff like not to install it without qualifications. Well that's allright, I got a degree in something once.

The rest is all in pictures. First I have to point at a drawer (on a cabinet I havent built yet). Anyway its pretty straightforward box making.

After an hour or two, I'd made two base units, which looked strangely tall, and disturbingly shallow. The work surface looked way high, and Hayley was dissapointed that the drawers in the shop looked much deeper than that.

A quick check of the boxes, and a bit of measuring and checking the brochure, and I realise I've made 2 wall units. Embarassed

It must be the other big boxes at the bottom of the pile.

Hayley then spends half an hour gleefully texting people to tell them, who text back and say I should do it sober. That was sober.

Midnight: A bottle of wine later, and eventually I have made a real base unit. This one looks much bigger. I push it to the side of the room, and the plug for the fridge freezer makes a buzzy noise, and the fridge goes off. banghead

Hayley points out it worked fine for years until I touched it.

1 am: I've put new plug on fridge (having cut the sealed one off). I found a bag of plugs cut off old appliances, Breville toasters etc, and saved for future use. Plug in, fridge starts, and stops again. The wire to the fridge only just reaches, I am worried that I have over stretched it at the fridge end, and may not be able to fix it. Move all the stuff on top of the dishwasher, then move dishwasher so fridge can be moved closer to socket.

1.30 am Buzz, Click. Looks like the socket is goosed. banghead

1.40 am Have rigged up extension lead. Even then, the fridge motor starts, but the 'on' light and the light in the firdge dont. WTF is all that about? Decide I must have confused it, and turn it on and off a few times. I dont know how that helps, but it works. Leave it alone and go to bed.

Baiting Guru Joined: 04 Jan 2006 Posts: 3193

OMG now you have to reboot the fridge. What have us software engineers done to the world? Embarassed

If I were you I'd see if the fridge has a terminal block that is easily accessible. If so it'd be worth checking it.

Posted: Fri Mar 02, 2007 10:00 am

@RC

Rule 1- after wine step away from the toolkit!!

Posted: Fri Mar 02, 2007 10:37 am

Another top tip for you:

When buying sand and cement mix to bed your new shower on, buy enough or, preferably too much; That way you won't have to throw the original lot away (because it will go off before you get back from the shop with some more).

I'm off to Wickes to buy a bigger bag now Embarassed

Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2007 1:46 pm

we had a setback yesterday when I unpacked one of the base units had lost some of the white finish. As it was where you would see it when the door was opened it had to go back, guess what - no more stock! I reckon watching people who have bought things in Ikea trying to get things in their car could be a good hobby. To get photos I could build a hide from Ikea boxes and sneak around the car park in it...

We picked tiles, the ones I like are real stone mosaic and �10 per sq foot. Shocked

Edmundo turned up at the crack of dawn. getting up wasnt easy because I was watching the Superbikes live from Oz in the wee small hours.

By the time we had sat down for breakfast, he had done the electrics. By dinner he was gone, having fitted all the cabinets we have so far and
temporaily fitted our old worktop. He must have an adjustible bubble in his spirit level, its always in the middle.

The new worktops will be 10 days delivery. The state of play so far, at least we have cupboards again. The brown bit is an old door, fitted pending the ash panel arriving with the doors.

Posted: Mon Mar 19, 2007 12:42 pm

Well things have been moving on, I thought I'd better do an update before I get called for necroing the thread!

Last Tuesday, all manner of trucks arrived, I got the hob, cooker, microwave and then the worktops. Later all the doors arrived from Ikea. (apart from the ones I cant have until 14 April Sad

)

Heres not a very good picture of the cooker in the middle of the floor.

We then managed to roll out the huge 2 oven range out through the back door, it lies on its side on the patio until I can borrow a van and a strong assistant. It had been on Ebay, until Edmundo got 2 electric shocks from it, and discovered that it had 100 Volts going through it. It has probably been live for a long time, but luckily it was too far from the sink to earth yourself through it. The irony is that it was a gas cooker! I went and withdrew it from sale before I got bad feedback for manslaughter.

Edmundo was here most of the weekend, we got the worktops in, gas connected to the hob (I went to a party Saturday night, because they had heating and I didnt), and the sink and washer connected to the waste and supply.

Here he is at work:

Ther is a lot more space and light without the mega cooker.

I rang my mum, who is convinced that Hayley's absence is because she's left me over the kitchen upheaval. Mum thinks we should move into a hotel.

Hayley did turn up last night, I was very glad to see her, as it takes us both to relight the central heating. Very Happy

She brought a camera tripod back that her dad bought and never used, so I took a couple of pics of where we are up to, using the kitchen light.

Edmundo says I can try fitting some doors and drawers before he comes back next week.

Posted: Wed Mar 28, 2007 1:58 pm

Updatette before the thread gets too necro.

Edmundo drills a 4 inch hole in my house, for the extractor fan:

Here's the plug he cut out of the wall, I'm going to keep it as a bizzare garden curio.

He also fitted an outside tap, hayley was delighted as she hosed off her mountain bike on Sunday.

We went out on the motorbike at the weekend, and had fun getting the new mad max black kettle and toaster home to go with the worktops.

Edmundo sealed the edges around the worktop with black sealant, his secret technique paid his mortgage for years, he says, heres a sample:

I took this 20 mins ago, the handles are on (mostly) and the floor that arrived this morning is being tried for size. Edmundo is landing me a jigsaw later so I can f*ck it up.

Finally for now, the patio is covered in travertine tiles drying in the sun - as they are real stone, they have to be sealed first. luckily they are 15% off in B&Q this week. still expensive though, I bought �100 worth. We visited a 'budget' store last week, where they had glossy cardboard 'tiles' at 20p for an A4 size sheet. Hayley dragged me away quickly.

Posted: Tue Apr 03, 2007 4:10 am

Can we now see the finished article please??? jump_4_joy

Posted: Tue Apr 03, 2007 9:21 am

Quote:

Can we now see the finished article please???

Don't make it look too good - Mrs iMike's getting ideas... Confused

Posted: Thu Apr 05, 2007 6:39 am

come on guys I remodel houses for a living...it ain't that hard. Laughing

BTW good Job Roy...it looks great

Posted: Thu Apr 05, 2007 7:49 pm

No sign yet of a finished article. 3 doors for the sink side wont come till April 14th Twisted Evil

and there's a lot of tiling to do.

Most of the oven side is done now, just trim and tiling left to do. Here is is with handles & stuff, taken yesterday. As you can see, I finished the floor, amount left over = a few scraps!

@Ds, it is hard when your a complete noob.

Posted: Fri Apr 06, 2007 9:34 am

Why Mr Cropper, Hayley must be so proud!! It really does look very nice!! Thumbs up

By the way, I have this cupboard in my kitchen that's a little loose and the floor may need a bit of repair...wel, ok....I need a new floor.
Oh! I nearly forgot, the oven needs replacing and the fridge door won't close and don't even get me started on the kitchen light fitting!
So....How're you fixed....

419Eater Admin Joined: 30 Sep 2003 Posts: 7469

I may employ you to come and work on my new kitchen! Very nice job Roy Smile

Master Baiter Joined: 21 Jul 2005 Posts: 137

Wow good job. That has almost inspired me to do something about my kitchen...

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