Useless information that all baiters know

By joining our community you will have the ability to post topics and access other forums reserved for members. Registration is quick, simple and absolutely free. Join our community today by clicking here.

Posted: Sun Mar 08, 2015 10:07 pm

Dorothy wrote:

@Mortal: If it takes 5 emails to make her fall in love, obviously you need to step up your game a bit Smile

I'm a shy male that doesn't let himself go so easily. Embarassed

Baiting Guru Joined: 17 Sep 2006 Posts: 5905

You can still wish people a Happy New Year in November!

Posted: Sat Mar 14, 2015 4:10 am

Investment companies won't blink an eye when you ask for funding to build a replica of the Taj Mahal in your backyard.

Baiting Guru Joined: 17 Sep 2006 Posts: 5905

It is completely sensible to transfer $2,500,000 to someone via Western Union with a $5,000 a day transfer limit meaning it would take 500 days to get the money. A lot better than transferring it all at once via bank transfer!

Posted: Sun Mar 15, 2015 3:42 pm

You should always question if your lad *insert lad's name here* is the same and infamous *insert lad's name here* you saw all over the news, who is wanted by interpol and the FBI for robbing a dildo warehouse armed with a banana.

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 May 2007 Posts: 18312

Gender Identity Dysphoria is common among dying widows suffering from cancer or stroke sickness. It even happens post-mortem.

Women can be afflicted with prostate cancer, but only if they're wealthy widows.

Posted: Sun Mar 15, 2015 8:31 pm

Taxes

The IRS (or IROS in some cases) is a passive and toothless organisation that never asks questions about sudden massive gains in wealth.

Every country has an IRS and they all work closely together.

A foreigner can be obliged to pay income tax in Nigeria, but a simple certificate can prevent that.

Baiting Guru Joined: 17 Sep 2006 Posts: 5905

Barristers and banks are so keen to have your most up to date personal information that sometimes they ask you to reconfirm it 24 hours after you sent it the first time!

Trophy Videos · Posted: Mon Mar 16, 2015 9:39 pm

Death certificates, where "shut with bullet from gun, distroying important tissues" is an acceptable description.

Trophy Videos · Posted: Thu Mar 19, 2015 12:05 am

All about Diplomats. Yastreb and I discussed it at length today. We now share our knowledge with you!

Me: Mastered standing for weeks at international airports...Check!
me: Yellow tag form filling training... Check!

yastreb: Moonlighting for a security company... check

me: Knows never to peek inside consignment boxes.. Check!

yastreb: Fully conversant with miraculous scanning technology - check

me: uses apporpriate security locking mechanisms.. check!

yastreb: Totally ignorant of diplomatic immunity - check

me: knows the difference between passports and international passports... check!

yastreb: Stays in non-existent diplomatics lounges/lodges - check

me: secures all consignment boxes in airport warehouses.. check!

yastreb: Has a diplomatic roaming phone and can't use a landline - check

firef1y: Pink flag for the certification seal of the trunk box - check

yastreb: Isn't allowed to meet "beneficiaries" - check
yastreb: (Pink flag?)

firef1y: Ask Slappy Wink

me: hiding identity from airport officials and customers trying to travel to pick up boxes.. check!

yastreb: Uses disguise to protect himself - check

me: never accepts consignment payments in person, only WU.. check!

yastreb: Insists that money for customs charges in Australia be sent to Ghama - check

me: accepts phone calls 24 hours/day... check!

yastreb: Takes all consignments to America first - check

me: jfk is preferred airport... check!

yastreb: Can't afford even $39 for fees (and has no credit card) - check

me: when they leave Heathrow airport in the uk, always stay overnight in manchester...check!

yastreb: Always needs to hire "bully/bullo" van - check

me: knows how to pack 27 million usd into a bag weighing less than 20 kilos.... check

yastreb: Brings US dollars into a country that uses another currency - check

me: always wears brown shoe and eats rice and chicken for lunch..check
me: reminds customers to be careful not to raise eyebrow.. check!

yastreb: Speaks the same phrase over and over like he's stuck in a script - check
yastreb: Forgets what time zone he's supposed to be in - check

me: forgets the customer's time zone too...check!
me: sends austrian packages to australia instead... check!

yastreb: (And vice versa)

me: yup.

yastreb: Thinks that tapping on a hard surface is proof that the consignment exists - check

me: says ACT FAST! as many times as they can fit it in a sentence..check!

yastreb: Has no idea what the IMF actually does - check

me: has no idea that wampum is more valuable than dollars, gold, or diamonds, check!

yastreb: Can be in three different airports in three different continents at the same time - check

me: never take a bathroom break when on the phone with them,...check!

yastreb: Any officials that he calls on to speak to you have West African or bad cod-American accents - check

me: We will deliver your consignment directly to your closest international airport is always a lie, they never ask you first.....check!

yastreb: They're at the closest international airport but don't have your address - check

me: They will never move to your closest airport when you ask them...check!

yastreb: They're very good at hiding - if you visit the airport you can't find them - check

me: his hands are always tied by "International Diplomatic Regulations"...check!

yastreb: He has a wife and kids back home, and a close intimate relationship with his boss - check

me: if you refuse to pay the consignment fee, the FBI will surely arrest you.. check!

yastreb: He can never lie to you - check

me: if he were to ever lie to you, God would not like it, and he would die... check

firef1y: He knows geography - Austria and Australia are the same country - check Very Happy

me: we got that one...check!

Now everyone knows all about Diplomats! Check!

Something the mods dream up Joined: 22 Apr 2014 Posts: 905

They also stay in the airport for weeks with no money - check

Posted: Thu Mar 19, 2015 10:41 am

The West African cocoa industry is so full of treachery and murder it makes the Colombian Cocaine Cartels look like Boy Scouts.

Poison is the preferred method of eliminating competition (such as business associates) in the West African cocoa industry.

No West African Cocoa merchant should ever go on a business trip because that's where those poisonings are committed.

Posted: Thu Mar 19, 2015 1:58 pm

"Remain Bless" is not a lad curse or cross you have to bear.

Lads love to travel long distances during Harmattan.

Posted: Thu Mar 19, 2015 5:30 pm

Men of the cloth have a wide variety of careers available to them. Banks, law firms, courier companies, and diplomatic attaches all want to hire ministers and reverends.

Master Baiter Joined: 07 May 2014 Posts: 206

A good woman can get a marriage proposal by the second email. A great one can get it in the first.

20 year old refugees are "Little boys"

Money spent during the transaction can not be taken from the consignment/inheritance etc

After six months without contact you can find your diplomat still waiting at the airport/hotel etc.

a corrupt file called passport is a legitimate ID. If not send it again

Posted: Mon Mar 23, 2015 12:05 pm

Applications by next of kin for the bank accounts of dead individuals are frequently delayed by "family logistic problems" that can take between three and fourteen years to resolve.

Posted: Mon Mar 23, 2015 1:18 pm

I would have told you the average velocity of a fully laden swallow, but then I realized that this information is not useless at all.

Baiting Guru Joined: 28 Feb 2013 Posts: 3152

^^
African or European?

Posted: Mon Mar 23, 2015 4:39 pm

^^At least two of us asked lads the airspeed of an unladen swallow within the past two days! Do you have homing swallows?

Baiting Guru Joined: 28 Feb 2013 Posts: 3152

^^
Not yet.

http://wiredcosmos.com/2014/05/12/using-insects-to-advance-cybernetics/

But the experiments continue. Laughing

Posted: Mon Mar 23, 2015 9:02 pm

When a citizen of another country dies in west Africa, the citizen's embassy no longer follows the protocol of appointing a consular officer to inventory the deceased's assets and to notify the next of kin. Consequently, those unpleasant, tedious tasks fall on local banking officials.

Master Baiter Joined: 07 May 2014 Posts: 206

Clearly illegal activities are not illegal because the bank manager you are speaking to is willing to help you. Just don't tell anyone.

Don't tell ANYONE about what you talk about with the people online.

Only one emailer is legitimate and it is this one... no that one!

Wannabe Baiter Joined: 08 May 2010 Posts: 83

One of the most common and popular names for males in the US is "Kelvin" (although I've yet to actually meet one here in over 60 years).

Posted: Tue Mar 24, 2015 8:56 am

An eyebrow is a thing of terror... a raised eyebrow doubly so.

Posted: Tue Mar 24, 2015 2:00 pm

The larger number of RSOT's on a Document the more official it is. I think I've seen as many as 3 on one document before.

Useless information that all baiters know	View next topic View previous topic