Yahoo's Autogenerated Valentines

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Posted: Thu Feb 13, 2014 11:59 pm

If you have a Yahoo account, you might have noticed a little red heart floating next to the Compose options. I clicked it and this is what it spit out:

Yahoo actually wrote:

To my beloved,

I would walk five hundred miles to see you. And if necessary, I would walk five hundred more. Your love has given me a peaceful, easy feeling. You're seriously everything. I see your face in every sunrise, sunset, and sundae.

Yours and yours alone,

I don't know about you, but my heart's all aflutter. *swoons*

ETA: Ooh, you can get another one by clicking the button.

Yahoo wrote:

To my beloved,

Your hair is softer than a thousand bunnies. [Are multiple bunnies softer than just one??? I need a bunny pile, stat!]
Your charm is only outmatched by your perfection. [But...isn't my charm part of my perfection? Or is my perfection part of my charm? Am confused.]
I love you more than the mountaintops love the horizon. [And you've all seen those mountains thrusting up into the horizon, knowwhatimean, nudge nudge, wink wink]
I would give up chocolate forever in exchange for five more minutes with you. [Blatant lie.]

You had me at hello, [I'm pretty sure I said "hi" instead]

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 May 2007 Posts: 18312

I was simultaneously wooed and rick rolled:

Quote:

Dear cutie-patootie,

Your laugh is like a chorus of angels. I can scarcely believe my fortune to have found someone so divinely unique. I could not possibly love another with even a fraction of the affection I feel for you. Never gonna give you up. Never gonna let you down. Never gonna run around and desert you.

Posted: Fri Feb 14, 2014 3:00 am

^

Quote:

To my sister from another mister,

What would I do without you? You're seriously the coolest. You deserve to have the most special Valentine's Day in history. Can I borrow $20? Just kidding. I only need $10.

With appreciation,

Posted: Fri Feb 14, 2014 3:09 am

Quote:

To my snookums,

To know you is to love you. Your love has given me a peaceful, easy feeling. I can't imagine a world without you. Oh, my heart! My passionate, lovesick heart!

With all my heart and mind and soul and dreams

Posted: Fri Feb 14, 2014 5:20 am

Guess which option I went for

Quote:

To someone who gets it,

At least we have each other! Ever notice how many love songs are really sad? Someone should remind all those hand-holders that it's flu season. My heart will not go on and on.

Nuh-uh,
Billy Bob

Posted: Fri Feb 14, 2014 1:49 pm

WTF?

Quote:

Mon petit cabbage,

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. The warmth of your love could protect me from the harshest winter. I can't imagine a world without you. The stars are jealous of your famous sparkle.

Love for all eternity,
John

ETA:

Quote:

To the best human I know,

You always have my back and introduce yourself when I've forgotten someone's name. You're seriously the coolest. Your driving almost never makes me carsick! May you be a magnet for ridiculous amounts of affection.

Hugs and snugs,
John

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