The Rev and the Blooming Idiot

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Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Mar 2012 Posts: 5373

I'm using Reverend Schnorr from Jerry Springer as a baiting character on FMF. Our favorite lad has hit everyone here except me...until now.

Quote:

Hi there am new to this site and i would be glad to know more about u and see what the future unfold for as,,,,

Looking back to hear from u soon ...
Kell

By "new to this site" he means "have been here for years now"

I just signed up this week and you are the prettiest girl who has messaged me!

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Nice to meet u , and i would be glad to know more more about u and see what happen next ,,,,can u tell me more about u ..Well am kelly single never married before , no kids , stay alone and i would be glad to know more about u

Hi Kelly,
Very nice to meet you! I'm a reverend at a very small church and I've never been married. I don't have children but would love one day to find a wife who would like to settle down and have a few kids.

Are you religious at all?

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So nice to hear from u soon ...well am Good God fearing Christian , and very sincere , faithful , honest , never lied in my life before ...What ur name , and where are u from

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Mar 2012 Posts: 5373

Well I am very happy to hear you are Christian. My name is D. Hickey but all my friends call me Schnorr. I am from New Jersey but now live in North Carolina.
How about you?

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so nice to hear from u soon ..well am kelly blooms , i was born and grew up at Arizona , am nurse as professional , //can u please give me your yahoo id so we can talk more from there and get the chance to know each other better and see what the future unfold for as....

looking back to hear from u sooon

So nice to meet you Kelly Blooms. Being a nurse is a wonderful profession.

I don't have a yahoo, would emails be ok? I have a gmail and I can email you from there.

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i have gmail account to(shocking!) , i guess we can exchanged email address so we can have chat over there right ..can u give me the email address so i can send u mail right now //

Oh that would be wonderful.
My email address is baiter addy @gmail.com

May I ask what yours is?

Quote:

Thanks for the address and i would be looking forward to chat with u [email protected]

Posted: Sun Dec 08, 2013 1:52 am

Please take care of my Tater Tot, Sweet Potato Pie , Jam Tart, Club Sandwich, Taco Salad, Tuna Melt, Rich Creamery Butter, Fish n Chips with Slaw on the Side and extra Lemon Wedges, Glazed Doughnut, Turkey Dinner (with all the fixings), Surf and Turf, Apple Fritter, Canned Creamed Corn, Out of Date Pumpkin Mix, Apple Dumpling, Kidney Bean Little Lover Gal!

No Account as of about an hour ago...May the Farce be with you Reverend!

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Mar 2012 Posts: 5373

Now I'm hungry! Thanks!

I figured he has no accounts, perhaps she'll join my cult? Who knows....

Posted: Sun Dec 08, 2013 3:31 am

^^^^ Oh how I hope she does!!!

Quote:

Please take care of my Tater Tot, Sweet Potato Pie , Jam Tart, Club Sandwich, Taco Salad, Tuna Melt, Rich Creamery Butter, Fish n Chips with Slaw on the Side and extra Lemon Wedges, Glazed Doughnut, Turkey Dinner (with all the fixings), Surf and Turf, Apple Fritter, Canned Creamed Corn, Out of Date Pumpkin Mix, Apple Dumpling, Kidney Bean Little Lover Gal!

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Mar 2012 Posts: 5373

Rev: I think I got this chatty box working?
blooms: how are u doing
nice to meet u hee
Rev: Very nice meeting you. May I ask what you are doing currently regarding your nursing? Do you work with children or the elderly?
blooms: well am nursery nurse . i dear with new born babies
Rev: Oh how very nice.
Do you enjoy your job?
blooms: oh yeas and u
well am kelly Blooms , and i would be nice to know more about u and see what happen next
Rev: That sounds good. I believe I am a bit older than you. I am 48 years old. Is that too old for you?
blooms: no problem . what am seeking is good man and good hearted
well am single never married before, no kids, 35yrs old , stay alone and you
Rev: I am glad we are closer in age as you look very young. I am alone too. I have no children and never got married. I thought I would dedicate my life to the church but that isn't enough for me. I feel I would be a wonderful spouse and a great father to some children someday.
blooms: oh nice note and i would be glad to know more of u
how long have u been that dating site and what have u experienced since u that dating site
Rev:I signed up last week, only one person has messaged me but she was not a real person. She had some kind of story about being an orphan at the age of 28 and some inheritance. I told her I wasn't interested.
You know what...it wasn't even a woman I bet! It was probably one of those scammers that the site warns you about.
blooms: oh really
sorry
well am new to that dating site and have not experienced anything from there yet
Rev: Oh that's good. You should be careful just in case she messages you too. My dear, do you mind very much if I log off. One of the other reverends is here and he wants to go over our annual food drive preparations with me. He has picked the worst time to do this. I shall log on tomorrow after mass. I hope you don't mind..?
blooms: can u leave me ur phone number so i can txt u
Rev: I don't have a texting phone and the church phone is for members of the parish only. I'm sorry.
blooms: alright
what time did u get here
Rev: Mass should be over by 1pm tomorrow.
blooms: okay
have nice day
Rev: Thank you and you too. Very nice meeting you.
blooms: nice meeting u too
bye for now

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Mar 2012 Posts: 5373

I do hope your Monday was nice. I had quite the bit of work to catch up on today so I apologize for not being able to write sooner.

How are you? I did very much enjoy our correspondence over the weekend. I wonder what shift you work and is it at a hospital? I did a rotation once at a hospital to give last rites to those who were dying. I am glad to have done that and to ease the minds of those who were ready to pass to his pearly gates.

I hope to hear from you again.

Quote:

Good evening , so nice to hear from you soon ...
Well am having great day . and i hope you are having the same . well am nursery nurse i take care of new born babies and also help during surgery, ..well never mind for been online , well i would be glad if u tell me the kind of woman you are seeking for .....well am very honest woman , God fearing , sincere, patience, respect, kind , humble, and also open minded , and ready to you any details about me.........I lost my parent through car accident and have been tried to live lonely and pure hear from since , am now seeking for man that i can settle down in my life , it has been couples of years ,,

Looking back to hear from you
Kelly

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Mar 2012 Posts: 5373

Dear Kelly,

So nice to hear from you again. I imagine you have a hard job taking care of the nursery. I am looking for an honest woman who is also God fearing because God does need to be feared. He would not have created us if he didn't want us to fear Him. He is like the giant foot in the sky and we are like ants.

I do see you have some sadness in your past. It is a shame you lost your parent. I lost mine too. They were attacked by zombies. Sometimes I can still hear the screams.

I hope to hear from you soon.

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Good evening , how are you doing ? well so nice to hear from you soon ..well am very God fearing , woman ,. sincere, honest and with much respect , and also reliable , ..Sorry to hear that you lost your parent, ......Well am looking for man that i can love and also depend on him as good husband , well i have been scammed before , so it so hard for to build in trust in man ..Since you are Revered i guess i can believe , you , i hate liers ....I have not lied in my life before ,..Sorry my english would not be perefect as i told you earlier i have spent much time living in italy .....i guess we do have alot in common and i woulld be happy to my friend for now, and see what happen next ....
Looking back to hear from you soon ...
Kelly

Posted: Thu Dec 12, 2013 1:55 am

Those Zombies can be such Assholes!

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Mar 2012 Posts: 5373

Quote:

Good evening , how are you doing ? well so nice to hear from you soon ..well am very God fearing , woman ,. sincere, honest and with much respect , and also reliable , ..Sorry to hear that you lost your parent, ......Well am looking for man that i can love and also depend on him as good husband , well i have been scammed before , so it so hard for to build in trust in man ..Since you are Revered i guess i can believe , you , i hate liers ....I have not lied in my life before ,..Sorry my english would not be perefect as i told you earlier i have spent much time living in italy .....i guess we do have alot in common and i woulld be happy to my friend for now, and see what happen next ....
Looking back to hear from you soon ...
Kelly

Kelly Darling,
You need not apologize for your English as I can understand every word. I wonder what it was like for you in Italy. How I wish to visit there one day.
Do tell me all about your dreams, your fears, your wants, your needs. I should enjoy knowing you more.

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Mar 2012 Posts: 5373

Quote:

Good evening ., how are you doing? well so nice to hear from you again ...Italy is very nice Country ..Thanks for search great question ..well my dream is to meet the love of my life , Man that i can love and also take good care of me as well , am very brave woman , and i dont fear anything, in my life ...
(except asshole zombies)
Looking back to hear from you soon..
Kelly

Kelly Dear,
How nice that you've had the pleasure of growing up in such a nice country.
How long have you been seeking the love of your life? Have you found any contenders?
I do hope we continue to communicate.

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Mar 2012 Posts: 5373

Quote:

Good evening , How are you doing? well i hope by the Grace of God you are fine as am doing over here ..well am not in relationship yet , am not trying to found the love of my heart , I have been seeking all my life to found my bride , man that would be nice to me , faithful , sincere , honest as well ....I was in relationship when i was 18yrs i lost my lovely boyfriend , through cancer , i have been living single from since then , ,,,,,Am hoping to found one soon ...

Looking back to hear from you soon ..\
Kelly

Kelly darling,

I am so sorry to hear you lost your boyfriend. What a tragedy. 18 years is a long time to be with someone. When did he die?
Are you quite sure you are ready for a partner?
I understand if you aren't.

Posted: Sun Dec 15, 2013 9:07 pm

Quote:

I have been seeking all my life to found my bride , man that would be nice to me

Sounds like she's looking for v-bag. Razz

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Mar 2012 Posts: 5373

^he caught a case of am confused Laughing

Quote:

Hello, how are you doing ? i hope you are fine ,,well sorry for not contacting you for couples of days now ...i was admitted at the Hospital , but am back home now ...Well am really serious looking for man that i can love and also make me happy all the times .....Am not here to play games ...

Looking back to hear from you soon ...

Kelly

Hello again hello,
I am doing fine, thanks for asking. Why were you in the hospital?
I'm serious too about looking for a woman. I don't play games either.

Hope to hear from you soon,

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Mar 2012 Posts: 5373

Quote:

So nice to hear from you soon ...I was admitted at St Josephs Hospital ....well ready to to meet my soulmate as soon i can ...well i guess we do have alot in common and i think we can called ourselfs lovers from now going ,,,,

Sorry you were in the hospital. You are right. We have alot in common.
We can call ourselves lovers for sure.

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Good evening , how are you doing?

So nice to hear from you again.

How are you feeling? I hope you are well.

I miss you.

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Good t hear from you soon..am fine , and i would be leaving to ghana to have continue my service there and also advance more in local and culture education , am gonna email you anything that gonna be happen , before i leave, right nopw everything is in contact now , and i would be leaving this Monday , am glad that am gonna spend the christmas over ghana becox i have heard alot about that country and cant to get there ....Sorry for not telling you earlier , it hurt to be alone this Christmas , ....

Hello my dear,
Sorry to hear you are leaving for Ghana. I had no idea they were so advanced in education regarding culture. How very lovely.
I do hope you enjoy your adventure. I do hope you are able to email me from there. Do they have internet in Ghana?
I'm sure they do.
Enjoy your Christmas. I'll miss you.

Posted: Sun Dec 22, 2013 8:16 pm

^^^^ yep, they're so advanced in education that they feel no need to punctuate and follow basic grammatical rules. Razz

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Mar 2012 Posts: 5373

Quote:

Good evening , how are you doing dear ? i hope you are fine ...well am gonna contact you every second in my times as i can ..i cant forget you ever , u have brought light upon my life ,,,dont worry am gonna be fine and safe for you ..
Am gonna come for you as soon as we go for vacation dear ....

MISS YOU
XOXOXOOXOXOXOXO

My sweet dear,
How kind of you to contact me every second. I am so happy you have come into my life.
Do think of me often. I wonder where I should take you on vacation? Anywhere you want my dear.
OXOXOXOXOXOX

Quote:

so nice to hear from you soon ..well am gonna try my best as i can to get connected to you so i can be happy , thanks for be in my life , so what are your plans for this Christmas .....love you

My dear Killy,
I am happy to be in your life. I plan to stay local for Christmas.
One of the parish members is rather ill and needs last rites should he be near death.
I don't want to leave him or his family at this time.

I hope you have a camera to take some pictures of your vacation.
Be safe.
Love you too.

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Mar 2012 Posts: 5373

Quote:

Good evening , how are you doing? i hope you are fine and i would be glad to be your partner , not money that make good relationship , what it needs is to build trust and believe in each that make successful relationship ....Trust, loyalty and respect are a must for eternal happiness. No matter how much you love someone if you don't have these ingredients you will never succeed.To be in love means being patient but to be patient you must trust him/her first. You can never find love through the eye or ear, so you must trust the only thing that will never fade until you die, your heart....Love is like trust, when you find your special someone it is as if you're trusting them with your heart. Trust is what you put in someone's hands......... Faith is what you hold on to.
Am sorry i dont have camera right now , i guess in need to purchase new to i can snap pic of me....
Looking back to hear from you soon ...
love you

I was tempted to copy and paste a service manual to him.

Dear Kelly,

I've read your email several times and I must admit, I did bang my head up against the wall.
I really don't know anything about you.
Your emails are like the inside of Portuguese fortune cookies, those little sayings...all smashed up together into a whirl of nonsense.
I don't know if I ever told you this but I'm a recovered alcoholic.
Tonight I'm no longer recovered but a full fledged addict again.

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Mar 2012 Posts: 5373

Quote:

Hello,there how are you doing? well i dont really understood what are you saying , i think if you can come down little bit so i can get what are you saying //...

Good morning

Dear Kelly,
Happy Christmas.

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Thanks. Happy Christmas too , and prosperous new year , may god richly bless you and you Grandchildren who are gonna come soon as possible ...

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Mar 2012 Posts: 5373

Thank you dear.

Quote:

Good evening , how are you doing? i hope you are doing fine , as am doing here , i really miss you cant wait to see you in person , just thinking about you day and night, Thanks for been in my life ....

You are an absolute joy mostly
and I am sincere
with thoughts and feelings and whatnot
of everlasting

Posted: Sat Dec 28, 2013 12:25 am

Quote:

I've read your email several times and I must admit, I did bang my head up against the wall.

He has a way of doing that to people. Good luck!

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Mar 2012 Posts: 5373

I'm starting to cringe everytime I see it has emailed me. I've decided to correspond with absolute nonsense.

Quote:

So nice to hear from you soon , how is your day going , and how are you spending the Christmas ,dear ,how i wish u are here with me so we can have fun and went out for movie , am very passionate about you and cant wait to be in your arms ...

Love you

passionate is the holding of inner feelings for someone
and then.

I enjoy.

Ahhh, much more better.

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Mar 2012 Posts: 5373

Quote:

At times I can't find the words to say what I mean in person, so writing it down when I think about it, helps me get my point across. All I know is you are someone I want to spend time with, and have fun with, someone I want to get to know better. love to talk with you. You're blunt and to the point, like myself, sometimes vulgar, but always funny. We don't always agree on things, but that's what keeps it interesting.

Anyways, I just felt like letting you know.

Thinking of you in many ways,

words can, I agree.

I vulgar sometimes like if.

Sometimes fun!

Posted: Sat Dec 28, 2013 5:45 am

Hahahaha... I hope he's sitting there looking at his screen saying wtf? Lol

Baiting Guru Joined: 27 Mar 2011 Posts: 21155

I don't know about dummy but I was thinking that.

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