This may be a silly newbie question, but...

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Posted: Thu Nov 07, 2013 2:12 pm

WTF with the scammers always going on and calling you 'husband' or 'wife' despite the marriage being only something that is yet (fictitiously) to happen, and has not been in any way formalized yet?

I mean, it appears to be among both vlads and lads, from what I can tell, so I can't just assume it's an (insert remote country here) custom where if you said you'll get married, you call each other that.

I confess myself confuzzled.

Posted: Thu Nov 07, 2013 2:19 pm

They'll also call your character Mum, Mummy, Father,......Anything that will help them win the hearts of their victims. Some Baiters discourage them from doing it. When any of the darlings start calling my character father I'll slap them by telling them I thought we were to be married when she arrives here. That calling me Daddy makes me feel like I'm expected to be have sex with my daughter rather than my wife.....(You get the picture)

Have a great day!

Posted: Thu Nov 07, 2013 2:20 pm

It seems to me that they use it as a term of endearment to make the victim feel more of a connection. Gets on my nerves too though.

Posted: Thu Nov 07, 2013 2:28 pm

Big Al and GT - all I can say is: puke

GTmama wrote:

It seems to me that they use it as a term of endearment to make the victim feel more of a connection. Gets on my nerves too though.

Yeah, and I haven't even gotten any of them far enough to call ME that! Made me grit my teeth just from reading it. I mean, yuck. But I suppose it makes sense as a term of endearment and to lure the victim into feeling safer, since the victim is probably lonely and would love to be called that by someone. Oh yuck ick squick!

I'm going back to my inbox and going to see if I can lure any of them into getting real attached to Miss Si. Not that I think any of them have the capability to, but if they do... *strangley motions*

Posted: Thu Nov 07, 2013 2:35 pm

Turn it around Mainoksia and ask them to call you something that brings you joy every time you read it and tell them you want to call them something too which also brings a smile to your face.

Nothing brightened my day more than seeing an email from my lad Peter or "Pee Pee" as he became.

Posted: Thu Nov 07, 2013 2:36 pm

also ....Calling you by a generic name such as "wife" etc. saves them time.

Easier to copy/paste a generic name than inserting your real name.

Posted: Thu Nov 07, 2013 2:48 pm

^^^ I didn't think of that. I have a few calling me nicknames I requested but now I'm going to get all of them to!

Posted: Thu Nov 07, 2013 2:51 pm

GTmama wrote:

^^^ I didn't think of that. I have a few calling me nicknames I requested but now I'm going to get all of them to!

Great idea! Now, to come up with suitably demeaning nicknames for them, and suitably adorable ones for me. Yess!!! More work for the c*ntpuffins!

Posted: Thu Nov 07, 2013 3:46 pm

Quote:

That calling me Daddy makes me feel like I'm expected to be have sex with my daughter rather than my wife

The phrase "Whose your daddy?" or "Come to Papa!" always makes me cringe for the exact reason you just posted.

Posted: Fri Nov 08, 2013 2:58 pm

Creepy and pretty squicky, yep. I also wonder whether they don't realize that they are squicky.

Posted: Fri Nov 08, 2013 3:17 pm

A lot of it is simply cultural differences. Their intent (besides being lazy) is to make you feel a sense of responsibility toward them.
Mummy and Daddy are creepy to us, but to them it's business.
To most romance scammers using the term, "Daddy" or "Mummy" is more like "sugar daddy" or "sugar mummy." This is a normal, acceptable arrangement to them and it is not something they feel the need to hide. If you want to see what I mean, just google "looking for sugar mummy." (I still remember the first time I googled a scammer's address and found one of the sugar mummy forums!) If you are their sugar daddy or mummy, they are offering sex or romance (though they don't intend to actually deliver in these cases, there are certainly some that would be perfectly willing to so so under their own identity), and in exchange, you are responsible for supporting them financially.

As far as the husband/wife thing goes, again it is about advancing the illusion of a committed relationship and creating a sense of obligation. If the guy you are casually dating gets into a tight spot, you might expect him to get himself out of it without your help. But if your husband is in trouble, of course you need to step in and help him. By repeatedly using these terms, the scammer is hoping to make you forget that you have never actually met, and convince you to see the relationship as so serious that it becomes your responsibility to help him.

Posted: Fri Nov 08, 2013 5:56 pm

^^^^^ I love your posts Dorothy, always so informative. Very Happy

Posted: Fri Nov 08, 2013 11:39 pm

I use it my advantage when playing "whiny girlfriend." I complain that asking him to marry me over the internet isn't the same. I like to keep asking for the engagement ring, talk about wedding plans, start sending pictures of items for the wedding like tuxse, bridesmaids dresses, etc. Got my one persistent love lad to stop calling me that for some time.

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