My First Love a FMF

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Posted: Mon Sep 09, 2013 6:18 pm

Setting the stage

Lad: Angina love - my native American with blonde hair though her photo shows black.

I didn't notice until Dorothy clued me in on her first pm to me (she
Googled it, and yes Google is my friend Smile

) and then I noticed her heritage. You guys have trained me well.

Me: I am Alfred Murts, but you can call me Fred. I am a widower of 8 years. Wife, Ethy died giving birth to our son, Richard, named after my father. Unfortunately, Little Ricky died 5 hours later. I haven't dated since, don't know how to go about online dating. You will learn more in my responses.

So, here it goes. I am going to break these up a little so I don't have one long post that I need to format.

In quotes is my lad and in bold is Fred.

Quote:

Nice meet a Handsome, sensitive, sensuous, warm, assertive single man who wants a friend. My interpretation of a friend is one to whom you can pour out all the contents of your heart, chaff and grain together, knowing that the gentleness of hands will take it all, sift it, keep that which is worth keeping and, with a breath of kindness, blow the rest away.

Hi Rosina, you are very lovely. I am 45 years old, are you sure you want to be with an old man like me?

You can call me Fred

Quote:

age is just a number you know it to be....I am looking for a special, loving relationship with a unique Man who is affectionate, Handsome, with a shapely figure, sincere, easygoing, with interests and characteristics similar to mine...someone who wants a meaningful, serious, long-term relationship...not just a few dates

Okay, just wanted to make sure. You are very beautiful.

It has been a long time since I have dated, so I am a bit out of my comfort zone. I have never done online dating. I was with my wife since we were in College and the internet wasn't that advanced back then.

Tell me about yourself.

Fred

Posted: Mon Sep 09, 2013 6:20 pm

Quote:

Rosina:
am also Rosina first a man called Fredrick in hatford city with my parent too as well but now i have loose all of them...am now left with only my son who is now 7yrs with me....i join this site yesterday and you are the first person am chatting with so you are welcome....and also I am looking for someone who has a great sense of humor and big heart, is curious about new things that would like to share new experiences or old habits.

I am sorry to hear of your loss. My wife died giving birth to my son 8 years ago. Your son is the same age as mine would have been. What is his name? My son's name was Richard (after my father). We were going to call him "little Ricky", but sadly he died 5 hours after my wife did.

Anyway, let's move away from the sadness and see if we have other things in common besides the loss of loved ones.

I believe I read that you are a nurse, what type of nurse are you?

Quote:

am a medical nurse...my son name is after his grandfather that is Richmond....am looking for a serious long term relationship with someone who posesses strong character and is goal-oriented..am sorry for your story okay...and how long have you been on this site...

I too am looking for a long term relationship. It been so long since I have had anyone in my life (8 years now!). I just signed up yesterday and I am confused on how to work maneuver around.

Do you work in a hospital or a doctor's office?

How is your Sunday? What do you like to do for fun?

Posted: Mon Sep 09, 2013 6:25 pm

Quote:

you can add me on yahoo so that we can chat there....mine is *****@yahoo.com ( what is the protocol for the lads email on here?)

I don't have yahoo chat on my computer. I really don't like chat as I get confused on there. Let's stick with email, perhaps later I can download and install it. I don't even have a yahoo email account. I only have an email at Gmail. Well, except for my work email and that does not have a chat client.

How is your Sunday and what are you and your son doing today? What grade is he in? Does he play sports? What is his favorite subject in school?

What do you like to do for fun? Have you been on any other dating site? I am sorry if you answered this before, but where is your son's father?

Quote:

this is my first dating site i have visit.....i use to play golf for fun and my son favorite subject is science...my day was cool with me and my son...we did some cleaning after church so we are a a little bit tired but wish to chat with you...and how about your Sunday ,what you do for fun and how many dating site have visit and how many women have you chat with....

Hi Rosina,

I, too, cleaned up my house and did a little grocery shopping for the week. I love to cook. Do you like to cook? I am doing laundry now which reminds me I need to go to the dry cleaners tomorrow.

So far that is all I have done. I haven't chatted with any other woman. You are the only one who has contacted me on here. Probably because I don't know how to use the site.

Like I told you, I don't have a chat program as I don't like to use those things. It gets confusing and really isn't a great way to know someone. I like emails for my talk.

If you are not okay with that, well, I don't know what to say. I would like to talk to you through email though, if that is okay with you?

I am getting ready to cook dinner now. So if I don't answer for a while, I will later tonight. My parents are coming over tonight for dinner. We do that once a week. I love my parents.

I hope you still want to talk to me even though I don't do chat.

Posted: Mon Sep 09, 2013 6:27 pm

Quote:

I am looking for a special, loving relationship with a unique Man who is affectionate, Handsome, with a shapely figure, sincere, easygoing, with interests and characteristics similar to mine...someone who wants a meaningful, serious, long-term relationship...not just a few dates..I am looking for someone who has a great sense of humor and big heart, is curious about new things that would like to share new experiences or old habits...and also i want someone who can replace my husband"s good work before dieing....dear can you tell some about your family???

Those are all good traits to look for in a potential mate. I, too, am looking those things. I can usually tell after a while if a potential mate has those qualities. It's hard to tell on the internet. I am afraid someone will take advantage of my generous nature and hurt me.

When was the last time you dated? Can you tell me more about your job? Do you work for a doctor in his office or do you work in the hospital?

My family is wonderful. I am the only child and they would really like a grandchild. My father is getting ready to retire and will be handing down the business for me to take over. They would like for me to find another wife so I am not alone.

What is something you want to do that you have never done before? How many men are you talking to on this site?

I will check back here later this evening.

Fred

Quote:

after my husband death i have been lonely for about 5yrs...this is the first dating site i entered and you the only one am seriously chatting with...to honest with you i have gotten more mail but am only replying your

am working in the hospital not for the doctor....

I am looking for someone who believes that a true intimate partner looks out for the other and vice versa. While navigating life together, we are caring and concerned for each other's well-being because we make each other so happy and we love each other very much.and also am looking for a serious long term relationship with someone who possesses strong character and is goal-oriented. He must love the Lord with all of his heart,then I know he will love me with all his heart.

and you??

I think that is what everyone looks for. I don't think anyone sets out to find a liar and cheat. Not to mention a lazy person.

I really don't believe in the whole "God" thing, but have no problem if someone else believes. Is that a problem for you? I don't want to write more unless you are okay with that.

I am flatter that you are only answering my mails. That is very sweet. However, since I don't believe in the whole "God" thing I don't know what to do about that.

Fred

Baiting Guru Joined: 27 Mar 2011 Posts: 21155

Quote:

what is the protocol for the lads email on here?

It is more about your comfort putting it out here.

And you are looking good so far. He is likely to answer you it just may not be immediate.

Posted: Mon Sep 09, 2013 6:31 pm

Quote:

yes is true...meaning if believe in the one who created you and i... you are not going to hurt me or do something which is against his will for you and i.and also do thing that a husband is suppose to do... my man should enjoy good humor, love to laugh, and be a hopeless romantic.So that would make him a God-loving romantic guy..With regards to a relationships, i now want more from life than family and friends can offer. Meaning i would like to meet the type of MAN that really would enjoy sensually charged chemistry, laughter and uncomplicated real time meet and greets....Someone who is highly affectionate, passionate, loving, considerate and is happy with hisself just the way he is today right now

Rosina (that sure is a pretty name)

I just don't believe in a "God". I don't need anything or anyone to tell me how to treat someone or else when I die I am going to burn in hell. All the same, I don't care if someone else believes and needs a "higher being" in order to treat others with love and respect.

I treat people the way I wish to be treated is all.

Tell me more about your son.

I love to laugh and friends tell me a I have a laid back easy going personality. I like to think I am romantic, perhaps you might one day tell me I am.

You sure are pretty.

I need to go clean up my dinner mess. My parents just left from our weekly visit. I told them that I joined a dating site and a little about you and what a beautiful lady you are. I hope you don't mind.

So, I haven't heard from "her" since. Crying or Very sad

<---my achy breaky heart

I welcome any and all comments. I have a couple more that emailed me this morning, I am taking it slow Wink

Posted: Mon Sep 09, 2013 6:32 pm

Thank next victim. For now I will mask them.

Posted: Mon Sep 09, 2013 7:17 pm

He'll be back, no worries

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Mar 2012 Posts: 5373

Good job so far! He'll be back.

Posted: Tue Sep 10, 2013 1:01 am

He's back!

Quote:

hello how was your day??? i hope everything was okay.....can you tell me what happened at work today??

Hello, how are you?

Nothing much happened today. I am a property manager in my family's business. So, I worked today not much else. How about you, what did you do today?

How do you turn the chat feature off on FMF? I have been approached 3 times for chat. I told all of them that I was busy at work and to send me a pm instead. I am going to write that in my profile.

Posted: Tue Sep 10, 2013 1:08 am

I updated my profile. I "sort of" stole this from next victim about chat. I dislike chat immensely. I don't even text in real life. Unless it's to my fiancé and telling him what to bring home from the store. Otherwise, no. I am not one of those who is that readily available. This is what I added to my profile.

Updating my profile to let everyone know I do not have yahoo chat. I do not plan on getting it anytime soon. I do not chat with friends and family, we send email and have a conversation, not one or two lines on a computer screen. You cannot get to know someone in those types of conversations

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Mar 2012 Posts: 5373

^pm sent on how to disable on FMF

Posted: Tue Sep 10, 2013 3:30 am

^^^Thank you Ginger!

She isn't wasting time, already a trip to Africa planned. hmmmm

Quote:

hello how was your day??? i hope everything was okay.....can you tell me what happened at work today??

Hello, how are you?

Nothing much happened today. I am a property manager in my family's business. So, I worked today not much else. How about you, what did you do today?

I am not giving up info if she isn't Wink

Quote:

nothing happened because am a junior in the work so i cant go and cause someone for fight or something else to happen......Fred do you know something...we are about to go for a tour to visit two African country...which is south Africa and ghana..so when you are praying remember me and my son

How exciting for you to go to Africa!!!! It is such an exquisite country with the most amazing wildlife. I think Africa is the most beautiful continent on the planet. I would love to go there some day. Have you been before? I hope you take pictures and show them to me.

Where is Ghana? Is that central Africa? How long are you going to be there for? Is your son excited? When do you leave? Sorry for all the questions, it's such an amazing opportunity for you, I can only imagine your excitement.

I might not be on the computer much tonight, but I will check back later to see how you are.

Fred

Is she going to get stranded? I smell someone thing happening...

Posted: Tue Sep 10, 2013 4:19 am

Quote:

dear can you tell me some thing about that place so that i will cancel the to see there...please help me okay

I don't understand what she's saying here, so I bluff it. I think she wants me to tell her about Africa?

I don't know what I can tell you, I have never been there but it's on my bucket list

Posted: Tue Sep 10, 2013 10:05 am

Stranded in Ghana is a good bet.

Posted: Tue Sep 10, 2013 6:01 pm

^^^ yeah, most likely that's it.

Posted: Wed Sep 11, 2013 12:08 am

I don't understand what she is asking, I am still in beginning Ladish language

Quote:

Are you there with me dear?

Lovely Rosina,

Am I Where? In Africa? No, I am here in the USA, where are you?

oh, wait, she was maybe asking if I am on the site. I disabled the ability to chat on FMF, these lads are going to write more than a sentence at a time if they want to pursue me.

Baiting Guru Joined: 27 Mar 2011 Posts: 21155

They sometimes write this to your email if you are not answering them in a time frame that suits them.

Posted: Wed Sep 11, 2013 2:46 am

^^^ I making this one wait. I have gone on there a couple of times today, not read her email. She doesn't have my "private personal email", so she stuck waiting around the dating site.

If she truly wants my love and affection (not to mention money) she's going to have to work for it. Laughing

My character is still developing, it's kind of hard to write things about yourself that are untrue and would never do!

I need to have her write more stuff. Not one liners. I may call her on it if she continues. Like, "I send you emails and you only answer with a few words. I was hoping to get to know you better, but you don't want to talk to me. Are you really serious about finding love? Because I am and don't want to be played with!!!"

My goal is to use their tricks on them before they start on me. Smile

Posted: Wed Sep 11, 2013 3:00 am

Now she just broke my heart into little bitty pieces

Quote:

i always like to treat patient with all the care...dear have been in a relationship before???and what happened??and where are you now..

Rosina love,

I am incredibly hurt by your question. I told you what happened in my last relationship.

Do you just have so many men that you are talking to that you are not remembering what we spoke about?

Why don't you let me know if you ARE really SERIOUS about a relationship.

Fred

Posted: Wed Sep 11, 2013 4:38 am

(S)he hurt my feelings by not remembering about my last relationship. I am going to make her grovel and perhaps then she will pay attention!

Quote:

am sorry about the answer given okay...to honest with you am for serious relationship and not anything else okay???

Don't know how long I will make her grovel.

Beautiful Rosina,

Okay, but can you see how it hurt my feelings? The end of my last relationship was the worst thing that has happened in my life. I feel like you didn't read my email, because if you did you would know why I reacted the way I did.

Just imagine if you shared something so painful and intimate and I "forgot", how would you feel.

What are you doing now? When are you leaving for Africa? Is your handsome son excited?

Fred

Posted: Wed Sep 11, 2013 4:58 am

^^^^ put in wrong answer. I am getting tired so perhaps I am just going to finish reading a homework assignment, which is an awesome thread (Thanks Ginger!) and then go to bed.

Posted: Wed Sep 11, 2013 7:42 am

I will let her sweat for one or toe emails

Quote:

can you tell me what happened in your last relationship....

I told you that just 2 days ago. You told me I was the only man you were writing to. Was that a lie? I can't believe you don't remember, I don't understand and I am very hurt.

Fred

I will let her stew like a can of tomatoes for a while. Smile

Posted: Wed Sep 11, 2013 10:17 am

Re character development -it helps if you veery quickly make up the bare bone of your character', like NV's 60 year old, on-site drilling consultant, no phone, dog named Niño, divorced. Now you can flesh out as needed for a bait. And the point is to make the lad tell YOU everything. Don't put up with chat, phone two sentence emails or texts. Get them into email and off the dating site.

Remember, you're in control of the bait and the idea is to make the lad do the work.

Posted: Wed Sep 11, 2013 7:41 pm

Thanks Capone,

I am a 45 year old widower male named Alfred (but you can call me Fred), my parents own several apartment complexes, I am the property manager until my parents retire, then I take over. First time using online dating site so I am confused on how it works, was married but wife (Ethyl) died 8 years ago giving birth to our son (Ricky) who died 5 hours later. I have not dated since and I am new to online dating.

Where should I have them mail me? At FMF or through my Gmail account? I have been telling all of them to write me on the site until I get to know them better, then perhaps private email.

It doesn't matter to me where I receive the emails. I just won't do chat, unless it's REALLY an emergency.

I want to thank all of you guys for help. I do want to succeed at making them go off script and wasting their time. So far I have not had one "real" person contact me. I think the site is just "lads" and "baiters" Laughing