I got scammed

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Master Baiter Joined: 11 Jul 2011 Posts: 229

I got scammed not by money but by my own student work which any student knows the value of your own hard earned work. The thread title could be alittle misleading but I recognize time+work same as money.

Anyway it was two small paper assignment that I sent on mail. It went to a low life student who din't even thank me and no he is not going to send me anything back or help me in the future.

It was the situation and stress that made me send it. We were in a same project and then when we finished he started to stress me to send some files that he din't make in time (which is his fault) which should also be made individually. The reason I sent them was that I found the situation embarrassing and din't want to get a stingy image by other people. Anyway I regret it the very first seconds after I sent them and it has ruined me two days already and continues. I don't mind helping good people but when it goes to wrong hands it can hit you. It's just one click and you can never regret it same applies to sending money to scammers.

I just want to stress that it can happen to anyone and that people should be more cautious and speak against if your forced to do something against your will or you'll end up feeling bad.

Posted: Tue Oct 11, 2011 6:12 am

A good life lesson I suppose. You shouldn't care what others think about you. You did all the hard work and this person exploited a good trait in your character (your generosity) and a bad trait (your worry about your own image). The world is full of people like this. Suggest you confront this person directly and ask them not to submit your work as their own, rather use your work as a guide to help them do theirs. If they refuse then suggest stop all contact with this person.

Posted: Tue Oct 11, 2011 10:15 am

Moved here from Main. Carry on.

Posted: Tue Oct 11, 2011 11:25 am

why don't we all join for a bit of the old Ultraviolence?

Posted: Tue Oct 11, 2011 11:49 am

Hi EU321

Sorry to hear you've been duped by a so called 'friend'. Not sure if you're at school/college/uni? The uni I work at has a strong policy for dealing with plagiarism (people submitting other people's work as their own without crediting the true author). Maybe worth speaking to the tutor for the module/class? Could say that you passed on some work to your 'friend' for them to use as guidelines, but you are concerned they may submit as their own work? At least they'd be aware of the situation, and the 'friend' wouldn't get credit for your work.

Just a thought from the other side of the fence. Smile

Posted: Tue Oct 11, 2011 1:43 pm

@EU321 I can identify with that only at a different level of the educational system. As a young student I was always winning essay contests outside of the school system. Once I wrote up a quick essay for a fellow student for whom I felt sorry and who never was a good writer. His essay won the contest I was also submitting for.

I waited for weeks, then months for him to confess that it was not his essay. I really wanted to turn him in for the fraudulent essay, but I keep hoping that he would do "the right thing."

The feeling never ever really went away. 27 years after the fact -- yes, 27 years - I was able to confront the person about that essay. (I had not had an opportunity to confront the person until then).

Yes, he apologized and I accepted it. He said that while we were at that school, he kept waiting for the "shoe to drop" (me telling the instructor).

Additionally he told me that although I was not aware of it, it taught him a lesson.

Master Baiter Joined: 11 Jul 2011 Posts: 229

Quote:

Morgain Le Fay

'friend' for them to use as guidelines, but you are concerned they may submit as their own work? At least they'd be aware of the situation, and the 'friend' wouldn't get credit for your work.

I'm more concerned that I gave it to a unthankful selfish person who will not return anything back and I know he will not because of old experience. He is just going to reuse it and make it appear as his own text and add some details to change it so the teacher can't recognize it.

I'm also miles away ahead of him in studies because he refuses to do his individual work but waits for someone else to do it so he can reuse it. I have helped alot of friends with joy but this guy just dosen't deserve it. He brags and is ungrateful and I hate that so that made me sick at night.

Anyway I'm starting to forget about it and I will just haft to take it like a man and move forward and learn a lifetime lesson from it

Not quite a Newb Joined: 14 Sep 2011 Posts: 54

Wait until he submits it then tell him you have an extension because you misunderstood the assignment and it was full of mistakes.

Posted: Tue Oct 11, 2011 7:53 pm

^ This.

Posted: Tue Oct 11, 2011 8:48 pm

Or "help" him again the next time he asks... with enough mistakes to ensure a failing grade. Twisted Evil

Posted: Tue Oct 11, 2011 9:28 pm

is he stronger than you?

Master Baiter Joined: 11 Jul 2011 Posts: 229

Not physically I have problems saying no that's the thing

Posted: Tue Oct 11, 2011 10:11 pm

would you be comfortable confronting him? I don't mean phisically

Master Baiter Joined: 26 Mar 2011 Posts: 128

your better learn for the next time- if you are a helpfull person- others will always find you.... Very Happy

Learn the lesson for yourself and help yourself for a change.... Wink

You are not responsible for others and he will find his responce.

To be honest, I think it is more important to learn how to say NO, to respect yourself first more. Instead of giving energy to somebody like him- you give and give. You could start to say no by sending any more energy to him. You better celebrate your own success and cleverness.

ok?

Orange Rose

Posted: Wed Oct 12, 2011 4:31 am

EU321 as we say to most victims:

Quote:

Stop communicating with him / her, they only want what they can get our of you.

I had someone ask to see one of my projects at Uni because she heard I did well on it in the previous class. The look on my face must have told the tale because a couple of weeks later she came to me and said, "I hope you didn't think I wanted to copy what you did. I just heard it was well received."

Nope I never did let her see it. We never did talk much after that.

The thing I hate worst in education is "group projects". My worst nightmare almost came true in one class. The saving factor was the instructor said we could be graded as a group or as individuals. I talked my "partner" into going it on our own work. He failed out of the course and the program and I got a diploma.

Hopefully the "scammer's work will show in other ways and they will go the way of my "partner".

Master Baiter Joined: 11 Jul 2011 Posts: 229

Orange Rose3 wrote:

your better learn for the next time- if you are a helpfull person- others will always find you.... Very Happy

Learn the lesson for yourself and help yourself for a change.... Wink

You are not responsible for others and he will find his responce.

To be honest, I think it is more important to learn how to say NO, to respect yourself first more. Instead of giving energy to somebody like him- you give and give. You could start to say no by sending any more energy to him. You better celebrate your own success and cleverness.

ok?

Orange Rose

I know I know I know it's so true but this was the only and last time, your right what your saying. I wanted to shoot myself after I noticed what I actually did.

Master Baiter Joined: 11 Jul 2011 Posts: 229

Jim Morrison wrote:

would you be comfortable confronting him? I don't mean phisically

Actually no it's not comfortable I rather just drop him and it's too late now.

Posted: Wed Oct 12, 2011 9:19 pm

^^ your decision and I respect it, it's very easy to give advice on something when you are not the one involved

Master Baiter Joined: 11 Jul 2011 Posts: 229

Quote:

ParaNoid

The thing I hate worst in education is "group projects". My worst nightmare almost came true in one class.

Starting to top my hate list

Posted: Thu Oct 13, 2011 11:11 am

Unfortanately group work is a necessary evil in RL and it won't go away.

Posted: Thu Oct 13, 2011 12:19 pm

I second Nailgunner's comment. I work in a university research environment and literally everything i do is group work (well, except for teaching, but that's a different side of my job).

Dealing with slackers, lazy colleagues and opportunists (ie those who like to coast and then take credit for the work of others) is unfortunately a regular part of the job - and learning various ways to deal with people who do this can be as much of my job as the "real" science. In our group they tend to be a tiny minority (usually students or beginning researchers trying to quickly build a reputation without putting in the necessary work)
but it's still a stressful issue that must be dealt with on a regular basis.

regarding the specifics of the original post, I see exactly where you're coming from. Don't beat yourself up over it, the occasion has passed. Maybe you would have been better off saying "no" but it's very hard to do so - and if this gives you the courage to say "no" next time such an occasion arises, you could even see it as a positive experience in the long term.

Posted: Thu Oct 13, 2011 5:45 pm

EU321,
Sometimes it's best to say "I'll have to think about that" when you get a request for something. It's just too easy to say yes or no when the person is standing right in front of you, because it's intimidating. If the person insists on an immediate answer, give them the choice of "no" or giving you some time to think about it. Often times the subject will then never be brought up again. Problem solved.
This also works great with children! Very Happy